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The one thing you need to understand about The Angry Black Woman is that just because I’m angry doesn’t mean I hate everything. You need to get that in your head right up front.

This blog is anti-racism and anti-sexism. It’s anti-prejudice of all kinds, but I focus mainly on racism and sexism because I am a black woman.

There are three bloggers on this site. All of us are angry, black, and female. Only one of us is the Angry Black Woman.

Why am I angry? Lots of reasons. The aforementioned racism and sexism. The way that our culture perpetuates racism and sexism then lies about what it’s doing. The fact that minorities, poor people, immigrants (both illegal and legal), and other marginalized parties are still treated like the gum on the shoe of the white, male power structure in this country and yet we’re all told that things are getting better. Things are not getting better.

This blog is a safe space for talking about these and other related issues. Safe spaces need to be protected. Not from people who disagree, but people who abuse. I won’t tolerate abuse here. Because I’m angry.

It’s true that the Angry Black Woman is a negative stereotype. Black men don’t like us, white people fear us, and non-angry black women wish we would stop being so loud. Anger isn’t going to solve all of the world’s problems, true. Anger is sometimes an unhealthy emotion. Sometimes it’s not. We sometimes need to get angry to propel us toward positive change or to stop injustice and oppression. We can’t stop being angry until the fight is over. And the fight is far from over, kids.

Before you go commenting on this blog, I suggest you check out the Required Reading. It’s required for a reason. I also suggest you check out the Rules, because whether you break them in ignorance or not, you’ll still be treated the same way.

There are four different header images. Two are modified versions of “Angela Davis” by Jesus Barraza of dignidadrebelde.com. The full image can be found here. The other two are pictures of a Sojourner Truth monument. The second has excerpts from her famous “Ain’t I A Woman?” speech.

186 thoughts on “About”

  1. Solange Echeverria says:

    I couple of years ago i began a blog – (Angrybitch) for a number of reasons mostly because I am a Latina that lost her job (journalist) to white male privelege -at a progressive rasio station no less. Oh yeah, being menapausal helped too…
    At any rate, I find you words, thoughts and intelligents FUCKING GREAT -Necessary, brilliant -Like getting oxygen after being locked in a dank suffocating cave.

  2. Solange Echeverria says:

    My experience at this place compelled me to write a book “White liberals and their racism” and why they just don’t get it. I wanted to create an atmosphere where activists of color could speak freely -about their experiences with white liberals and the internalized racism -and the struggle to deal with people in progressive movements that really have not unlearned their racism…It’s a subject that no one wants to deal with…

  3. Iris* says:

    I just got here. But I heart you! I just wanted to show some support and tell you to ignore the hell out of those horrifyingly stupid commenters that just want to piss everyone off. YOU ROCK.
    Sincerely,
    AWW

  4. Dreson says:

    Wow, This website makes me sad…..

  5. Dreson says:

    Its not white people you need to be focusing on.

    Distribution of single-offender victimizations, based on race of victims, by type of crime and perceived race of offender – Year 2002
    Offender victim Estimated number of victimizations (1)
    Crimes of violence- (3)
    Offender/victim
    White Black 100 111
    Black White 466 205
    Black Black 460 388

  6. jon says:

    hey ther, firstly i thought id clear this one up, im a white male, im 18 years old. an i found ur blog whilst looking for a word to descrobe people who are scared of black people. i thought your reasoning of ABW was completely relevant and true to modern day life, unfortunatly! However, i was wondering as to whether u think white people being scared of black people is racist, as i find myself being accused of being racist myself when i am genuinely scared of black people due to a few bad experiences with black people, im not saying all black people are the same or are all bad people, as i have friends who are black. however, i do often feel intimidated by black people who i am unfamiliar with!

  7. JH Furnish says:

    Until very recently I was a high school teacher in the city of Philadelphia.

    Generally, I always cut young Black girls some slack for having some ‘tude because I realize that Amerikkka is very hostile to Black women, and a pro-active attitude is simply par for the course for young Black girls. They really won’t be able to get on without having a facility for being assertive, aggressive, or even hostile. They have absolutely no choice.

    My only problem was that a goodly number of them (I taught ninth grade, english) hadn’t learned how to turn it off so I could teach them. Sometimes this did develop during their time with me and other times, not until later (if ever, I didn’t always see them again). Still, I think that being patient with them for the ‘tude was fair, because I know they need to ‘try it on’ being young people who haven’t hit all the walls their mothers have. Yet.

    Live loud, ABW.

  8. ExpatJane says:

    Be as angry as you need to be.

    Hell, I’m misinterpreted as angry when adjectives like “well-spoken”, “thoughtful”, or simply “correct” are better suited.

    I’ve been misinterpreted as being violent when all I’ve done was ask a question which was seen as a veiled threat.

    I’ve been called the Ugly American when some white man has decided that me not agreeing with his spin on the world is racial or cultural intolerance.

    How can you not be angry at times in a world that sees us as one-dimensional and often useless, unattractive and stupid? I’m glad that right now I’m abroad and just have time to look at the US from a different perspective (it ain’t pretty, for the most part.)

    I’m glad I found your blog!

  9. ephelba says:

    I just found your “Monday Debate: What is racism?” post. You mention that if we’d like to continue the discussion we should email you. I can’t find your email address, so I’m assuming either you don’t want it up on your site or I’m too dumb to find it, but I do have some questions, and I know a trick to making scones. If you ever have the time and the interest, maybe you could email me? I’ll make another assumption that you can see my email….

  10. nezua limón xolagrafik-jonez says:

    Do your thing. It’s a beautiful thing, after all. :)

    And “Dreson,” you’re like me! When I get sad, I read stats, too! So many people use comfort food, but that shit gets old, right?

  11. say it loud says:

    boy, white privilege sure comes in handy. dealing with cops, judges, pretty much any kind of authority figure – everything’s just so much easier. yes, i’ve had many ocassions to be thankful for my white privilege. of course there’s a down side: angry black women sometimes hate you. but it’s not really that much of a problem – generally the most they’ll do about it is talk at you, and half the time they don’t even do that, they just stew silently! it’s pretty easy to ignore.

    actually, i’m angry too. not at angry black women, but at suits, bureaucrats, petty tyrants, money-grubbing bosses, lying politicians, and the like. of course, i’m not angry on quite the same basis as an angry black woman might be, god forbid, since i’m a totally different type of person who couldn’t possibly relate to the kinds of problems faced by black women, exclusively, from condi rice on down.

    what are we angry people to do? is blogging really enough to release all that anger? i’ve tried blogging, and i’ve tried rioting, and i have to say it’s no contest. however, rioting unfortunately tends not to be 100% effective. is there a better way, more satisfying than blogging and yet more effective than smashing things and fighting the cops?

  12. the angry black woman says:

    say it loud… you’re funny! hahahahahahahahahahaha *continues to point and laugh for a while*

  13. zkennedy23 says:

    Haha this may pose as some clarification for the less-informed “so to say?”…

    I have a direct question miss “ABW” and I’m not trying to “butt heads” with you, but why do you need to specify that you’re an “angry black woman”? I mean, I myself am an “angry guy”, but I don’t really feel the need to add race into it. So my question is, why is there a need to put race into the picture?

  14. Jason357 says:

    It’s NOT fear of blacks. Many whites just have experience that says many balcks have no boundaries and will destroy themselves and everything around them. They’ll kill over a dispute over a quarter or something minor, like a girlfriend. Whites don’t normally want to die over a minor stuff. Plus, whites don’t have the support in prison that blacks have. I call that thinking smart, not fearful.

  15. AuLThaT says:

    I just happened to find your blog because it’s on the front page of the site as blog of the minute. I think an Angry Black Woman is an extreme turn-on and an articulate one is engagement-ring-worthy. But seriously, we live in a country that excludes across the board. I will never fall for the semantic trick of someone saying “you shouldn’t say Black Power” as if adding “Black” to any positive phrase somehow makes it evil and dirty. Ask if it’s ok then to say “white power” and I’ll show graphic examples of how that phrase is accompanied by hate, death, and attempted genocide… so no it’s not ok. Anyway… nice blog ; )

  16. Gloria Hopkins says:

    Careful how you group folks. I’m part white but my heritage is Native American and I can match you point-for-point in reasons for being pissed off at white folks in this country.

    In this country it’s the “us vs. them” mentality that perpetuates racism. If anyone has any right to be pissed off at white folks in this country its me. But I have let it go and learned to live in harmony with all races, including the white race.

    “My people” suffer the same prejudices that black people do. It just doesn’t get noticed as much because there aren’t many of us left. And, NOBODY dare begrudge us our anger for having our home flat-out stolen from us.

    But that’s history. This is today.

    None of the white folks living here today stole anything from me, or enslaved any of your people. They are all our countrymen and fellow Americans. They did not ask to be born here, and most have little control over where they live now. Yes there are ignorants who are prejudice because our skin is brown, but I don’t give them a second thought. Those I can help I do, the haters aren’t worth my time.

    Morbid curiosity led me to a KKK site the other day. I never found myself angry, and I can’t say I ‘pity’ them as most folks would. They have an agenda that they follow, just like many other political organizations. But I felt that they are fundamentally wrong in the Biblical sense.

    They feel this country was founded by white Christians? Do they think God just dropped them out of the sky? No, the “founders” of this country raped it, exterminated the natives here and imprisoned those they couldn’t kill.

    White Christians did NOT establish this country. It was a beautiful, healthy, thriving place before they brought their guns and disease. Yes, KKK, murder, disease and anger. You should be very proud of your heritage.

    Sorry for ranting, and thanks for offering this blog. I love it. Just don’t be so “black and white” OK? There are many of us “brown” folks who are also very emotional and passionate.

  17. thebiggestfundraisingcampaignofyourlife says:

    The only thing that bugs me about things like this — despite their humor — is that you hear way more about Angry Black Women than Totally Fine And Not Very Angry At All Black Women and so White Americans, who are often trying to be considerate, approach women like mah’self with caution because they’ve been put on alert by people like you, who apparently just happen to be angry.

    Damnit.

    There are so many Angry White People, too, you know, but they seem to have died down ever since KKK went out of style. Or, they watch FOX. Yay for Bill O’Reilly.

  18. Charlie Weis's Small Intestine says:

    Ahh never mind ABW, I get it now

  19. somebody somewhere says:

    There’s a book called Angry Black Woman, and there’s a website. The book is so funny and so true. There’s a section in the book that salutes Angry White Women. The quiz determines which ABW you are and tells the reader how to use ABW power in workplace and social situations without losing a job, friend, or anything else of value.

  20. somebody somewhere says:

    Where did you publish your story? I’d like to read it. Tried googling but there’s a lot on “Angry Black Woman” that doesn’t seem to have anything to do w/ you or your blog.

  21. plaintain1 says:

    Yeah, I’m another angry black woman. Hope you’ve got room to accommodate me. http://plaintain1.wordpress.com

  22. mspetry says:

    you rock…

    i love people who arent afraid to speak their mind

  23. Chris says:

    Interesting website

  24. Bruce Dixon says:

    Nice work Angry, if I may be so presumptuous as to call you by yr first name. We’re linking to you.

  25. the angry black woman says:

    lol Bruce. Sure, you may call me that. Most folks just call me ABW. Thanks for the Link.

  26. Ty says:

    Hello ABW,

    Where are you geographically based?

    Ty

  27. Dodo says:

    Like I always say:

    If you’re not angry, you’re not paying attention.

  28. Pingback: Why put race into the picture? « The Angry Black Woman
  29. Trackback: Why put race into the picture? « The Angry Black Woman
  30. Ann says:

    “However, anger can be used for good. We sometimes need to get angry to propel us toward positive change or to stop injustice and oppression. We can’t stop being angry until the fight is over. And the fight is far from over, kids.”

    And oftentimes what is called anger, is really passion. Passion to work towards justice, decency and fairness in this country.

    And many people fear that passion/anger because they themselves have so little of it. They themselves have settled for less than and second-best living.

    And the fight still rages on in America.

    The pervasiveness of racism is still there.

    It has simply morphed into a subtle and more sinister type. So subtle that it can often not be seen for the plague it always has been, for the plague it still is.

  31. Ann says:

    Gloria Hopkins.

    I’m part white but my heritage is Native American.”

    And many black Americans have in addition to black African blood, and white rapist blood from slavery and segregation, Native American blood from the rape and enslavement of black people by the so-called Five Civilized Tribes (Cherokee, Seminole, Creek, Choctaw and Chikasaw).

    Many black people enslaved by the Cherokee were drug behind horse-back riding Cherokees who took their black slaves with them on the Trail of Tears march out of the South towards the West into the state presently known as Oklahoma.

    Many black slaves died along this forced migration as well.

    The Cherokee also fought on the side of the whites of the South in unity with the Confederacy.

    The Cherokee looked upon black people as less than by adopting the use of slavery into their society.

    So did the Seminole as well as the other southern Indian tribes.

    “Five Civilized Tribes”.

    Doesn’t sound so civilized to me.

    If they were so civilized they would not have aped the worst of the white man.

    But, I guess when you are given the choice of surviving against the white men and women who seek your destruction, and your choice is to either side with defenseless black humans (who, incidentally, have just as much right to live in this world asanyone else), or side with the white man and woman who can crush you like a fly, well………..

    The instinct for survival kicks in.

    And then and there, Native America of the American South, made their choice.

    Go hand in hand, and participate in the destruction of black people by adopting slavery and doing to black people what white people did to black people under white America’s enslavement of black human beings:

    -Work black women and men as animals as if they were beasts of the field
    -Take from black people their labor freely and offer no compensation for it.
    -Rape, defile, debase and debauch black women and young blacks girls, because, hey, they are not fully human, they are just animals, because the white man and woman said it was so
    -Treat black men and women just as viciously as white people did during slavery. And why not? They couldn’t possibly be human. The white race said so, so ease and salve the conscience by convincing yourselves (Five Civilized Tribes), that is was alright to enslave your fellow human beings.

    Yes, white peole aren’t the only people who have “native blood” flowing in their veins.

    Many black people do as well.

    And it got there the old-fashioned copy-the-white-race way:

    Via rape and sexual coercion.

    Only thing is, there are many black peiple who do not recognize the Indian blood anymore than they reocgnze the white blood.

    Rapist blood, no matter what type it comes in is still rapist blood.

    I’ll acknolwedge the black blood just fine.

  32. somebody somewhere says:

    This “Civilized Tribes” vs. Freedmen debacle ticks me off to no end. When Native Americans scream about injustice, blacks are the first ones there to the defense, to help out. And they want to just negate people that have been members for 140 in the tribes? Quote “Don’t let these black freedmen take advantage of you. Protect Cherokee culture for Cherokee children and our future!” WTF? They use the “poor us” to justify acting just like any other oppressing racist mofo. WTF???

  33. Lesley says:

    *sigh* It’s times like this that I feel bad for being white…

  34. Monica says:

    I’m so glad there is somewhere I can actually be angry without being labeled a black b!tch. I am angry, though. I’m angry at black people, us black women in particular, for really cutting our men too much slack. We haven’t required anything from them. No education, no good job, prison records, drug problems, bunch of babies, and even worse, we allow the “educated ones” to feel like their the king of the castle. They know they are the exception and use that and the fact that no black girl wanted to talk to them in school as an excuse to date out. What they won’t say, however, is how they were too busy fantasizing about the lightest girl in the class and rarely, if ever, gave the really nice black girl the time of day. When we struggle to get somewhere, but are never really considered good enough, we take love where we can find it, get dogged, usually get left with a kid, and then we are “used goods” or “that’s good for us cause you wouldn’t talk to a good brother.” I wonder how degrading your own race of women is “good.” Black men have never had our backs. Do they honestly think they could have held an uprising during slavery and the master would step aside and let them have his wife? Heck no. They would have had to kill him. If our men had done the same thing, the white man would have gotten tired of killing their “best” men and would have left us alone. The black men let the white man know early on what they valued most-their own lives.

    Now they have the nerve to dog black women out, call us ugly, golddigging, materialistic, and loud? They didn’t call us that when they didn’t have a pot to piss in, but now since they get to wear a tie to work, we are worthless? They really think that “barbie” would give their tired arses the time of day if they had no loot. I could vent more, but I don’t want to waste space.

  35. nunya says:

    Haha…you’re funny and right on the money at the same time. It’s great. You say many of the same things I say in my blog without the queer element, but somebody has got to do these things and take being labeled the “typical black b!tch.” I saw some blog post the other day by, I assumed it was, a black male asking why are so many black blogs angry and saying anger is unhealthy. I left a comment essentially saying, “Hey, it’s just a *blog*…venting on a blog might be what’s keeping someone from going out in the world and hurting someone else, in which case it *is* healthy” and that I thought the answer was obvious why some of us are angry, particularly to other blacks, but I guess not.

  36. VanquishingVicissitudes says:

    I just discovered your site. It looks interesting!

    How do I join?

  37. BlueGirl says:

    When I read the stuff about Native American vs Black and then vs. White, I’m just like – give me a break! HUMANS all have done horrible things in this world, otherwise black tribes in africa wouldn’t have sold off their enemies to white traders.

    Black women in Africa wouldn’t be dealing with female circumcision or rape or murder.

    “White” people, as labeled here, sure have their historical set of crimes, but they didn’t originate rape or slavery. Those unfortunate ideas originated around the world at different times independently.

    For those of us in the US, let’s be really happy that the racism issue (and I’m not saying sexism because rape is still a big deal here), is for the most part (and I know not completely) confined to words. In the Sudan and in Iraq, people are dying because of prejudice.

  38. BlueGirl says:

    Btw, I LIKE this site. I think it is a great space.

  39. Jennifer says:

    You know I can relate as a black woman to your blog 1000%.

    Thank you for being a voice when some of us cannot be heard or people refuse to listen.

    I am usually a very sweet and nice person but I have this EVIL side to me that is tested every day.

    I usually do not have the attitude look but smiling but usually I am smiling because I am laughing at all the crap we have to go through as black women. Comedy is the only thing that keeps me sane.

    Thank God for Paul Mooney because he tells it like it is and I know certain people cannot stand him.

  40. Momma says:

    I found this site today, I can’t even remember where I found it, or what I was searching for when I came across it. Alls I know, is I’ve been here since I came in this morning, and it’s after 2pm and I’m still here. Knowing good and darn well Whyt Corporate America would not approve of this… (the nerve of me right? LMAO). I am anther ABW, who’s constantly trying to defend myself telling these folks, I’m not angry. But now I’m reading this site, and other sites that are linked to this site, and I’m feeling like … perhaps they are correct. Am I an angry black woman… Why Yes , I do believe that I am, and I believe that I am ready to embrace it as well. Feels good don’t it. :)

    Be well my Sisters and Thanks!

  41. Corina (is a troll) says:

    t’s bcs ‘m blck sn’t t!! B h b h

    Crbbs!!!

  42. abw says:

    Keep saying what you are saying. Folks need to hear it. It is a tough job, but somebody’s got to do it.

  43. abw says:

    Gloria Hopkins, as a black person, I am glad she is stating her truths.You are right to point out that today’s white people have not conquered or enslaved today’s descendants, but the country still harbors racism,classism,etc. and it does this in institutionally and in ways both covert and overt.Alot of oppression has been allowed to go on because folks don’t want to say anything.Also, too many people of color catch suffering because they don’t want to rock the boat. Or they suffer and become sad down the road because they don’t want to be confront the world they live in. All of these reasons give reason to why I don’t mind outspoken people.Lets reconcile cold turkey. Tell that to Leonard Peltier, Vine Deloria,Annie Mae Aquash(I could be wrong here with the last name) Mumia Abu Jamal, Jeronimo Pratt, and Bobby Hutton. Better yet, Emmet Till.If that is too in the past, Amadou Diallo, Devin Brown, Elvira Arrelano, Vincent Chin and the countless Native Americans on reservations that are the victims of police brutality and worse.I will just say that it is fine if you don’t want to say anything, but if you don’t, let other people that do,do.It is a tough job, but somebody got to do it.This goes if you are Native American, Black,Latino, and Asian.Because whatever progress minorities make, they make because some “angry loudmouth troublemaker” spoke out. For all yall peacemakers anyway,how has your reconciliation changed minorities second class status or acquired genuine respect-self or otherwise. As for your comment earlier,that point is somewhat mute because who ever said Native Americans didn’t suffer bad like black people. One more thing, there are many African Americans that are half Native American, looks can be deceiving.Your point of view is interesting, I just don’t feel it, and don’t believe that approach of reconciliation would work for everybody-most people no matter how hard they may try.I must confess that it telling to me that you are half white.

  44. abw says:

    P.S. Gloria Hopkins, the ABW that wrote this is not Angry Black Women the blogger, I am another abw. So if you respond to the above post, don’t respond to the blogger, but to just ABW.

  45. abw says:

    Blu Girl,what you say is bull.Also, calling out the misdeeds of some Africans and the trials of African women, does not leave white people off the hook for the stuff they did despite the fact that it don’t excuse some blacks for the mistreatment of other blacks. It is fully within the capacity of black people to call each other out about our misdeeds with out letting others of the hook. Also, people mistreating their own and selling their own ain’t endemic to us.If it was, it still do not justify outside aggression. There is not a place in the world where the oppressed or soon to be were not divided.In Iraq, they are raising sand with each other, but does that excuse the West. Ireland is divided into Protestant and Catholics who kill each other everyday. But does that excuse the misdeeds of the British. Not by a long shot. During the ethnic cleansing/genocide/or tribalism that was Bosnia-Herzgovina, was the war crimes of the U.S. justified even though those folks killed each other left and right. Also,speaking of rape, what is going on with this European sex slave trade. This is a clear example of mistreatment of white females by their own, but does the fact that some women are desperate or have a clue of what they are getting into justify the abuse and slavery they eventually encounter.You know as well as I do it don’t. Or better yet, does the fact that some women are madams and men are pimps connected to organized crime, excuse this atrocity that impacts largely, though not only women. This being the case, they are the targets. The kicker you state is that racism only exist in words. In what world.Pardon my French or English but are you kidding. Hate crimes happen to minorities everyday.Blacks make up the group most likely to be targeted, but the rate of Asians and Latinos is rising daily. Native Americans might be target at about the same rate as us.Look at the main targets of Police Brutality-all minorities and know that race is a huge part of this. While you consider this, let it be known that the thousands of people believed to be victims of hate crime and police brutality are the ones you were lucky enough to hear about.Also, whites had a slave trade called indentured servitude and before that feudalism in Europe so it is stupid to call black people out when whites have done the same. But bad as all that was, the descendants of those indentured slaves are not perceived the way African descendants were.

  46. Gloria Hopkins says:

    ABW: thank you for your lengthy and thoughtful response.

    Your comment that you could tell I was half white is a fantastic example of the “us vs. them” mentality. Stop that, please. Once you stop that shit, things might start looking better for you.

    Gloria

  47. Everett says:

    I’m an angry white man now. My government is keeping me from my beautiful black wife. She is being held hostage in Nigeria by the Lagos consualate. I think the white consulate has a problem with me being married to a black African. I am Angry!!

  48. abw says:

    Gloria Hopkins, I do not have to promote an us vs them mentality because that already exists.You do not know how things are for me because you do not know me,so it may be you that needs to stop judging. Things do not look bad for me. I just do not see things from the perspective that you do. I am entitled to my point of view the way you are. You should consider this the way you may expect me to consider your point of view.
    ABW

  49. CC says:

    You assume most white people are scared? I sure as hell ain’t.

  50. Vinnie says:

    abw, what you say is bull!
    the vast majority of racist crimes is commited by blacks against white victims. racist murders are disproportionally black-on-white, racist rapes are entirely black-on-white. the difference is that racist crimes against whites are never treated as hate crimes – therefore your statistics aren’t worth a cold poo.

    crimes commited by black racists are ignored by the media (anyone remember the wichita massacre?) while movies only feature white “racists”. woohoo, that must be that legendary white privilege…

  51. the angry black woman says:

    Hmm… everyone, please feel free to join me in pointing and laughing.

  52. Buzz Harris says:

    And thank you to Vinnie, the latest visitor from The Twilight Zone.

  53. Tom says:

    Vinnie, what planet do you live on?

  54. Ty says:

    Vinnie, Vinnie, VINNIE!

    Please, just continue watching Hannity & Colmes and Bill O’Reilly and leave thinking discussion to others. You are clearly not up to the task!

  55. abw says:

    Vinnie, what you say is bull! In the real world, things are the exact opposite of what you say !

  56. Nora says:

    ::points, laughs like that obnoxious kid from the Simpsons::

  57. Carrie says:

    Vinnie needs a reality check

  58. meka says:

    Exactly Nora and Carrie!!

  59. Tod says:

    Before I start I would like to thank my mom and dad for making it clear to me at an early age that I was going to be a white collar professional with nothing less than a Masters degree. My parents are two wonderful black people and to this day are still married and have been married for 40 years.

    However, I as a black man from the west coast, I am tired of statements from people like Monica, #33. Black men get blamed for every ill.

    Monica what kind of person are you!!! Monica, #33, you must be a lawyer or in law school. Only a lawyer or a future lawyer could write such a wonderful mix of truth, lie, and omission of facts and have all those facts come out smelling fresh and believable.

    “I’m angry at black people black women in particular, for really cutting our men too much slack…”
    I disagree, I don’t think the problem is too much slack. I think the problem is that black women are too bigoted “anti-male” towards black men, black boys in particular, and have low expectations. Unfortunately, other races are just as and sometimes even more bigoted “anti-male” towards black boys as well.

    My parents enrolled me in private schools from grades PreK-12 and for college as well. When I went to my private high school, my mom got some serious attitude and grief from some of other black mothers (not relatives) who felt black boys should only go to public schools, but it is perfectly fine to send their black girls to private schools. Even though the black community was fairly small, it was all too normal to observe black girls in private schools, while their older or younger brothers were in public schools or even questionable public schools. You could easily over hear conversation about which private school is best for a black girl, but dead silence on the same subject for black boys. Take a wild guess who consistently went and goes to college, the black girl in a private high school or the black boy in a public high school. Keep in mind we are talking about children in the same family!

    My mom kept me on a tight leash. I knew my homework had to be done by a certain time and free of mistakes. Sunday through Thursday I could not go out; it was homework only night. However, study groups were allowed. Going out on Friday or Saturday night was contingent on how much homework I had left. I still had to be home before 11pm or midnight. My parents did not allow me to hang out with unethical people or trouble makers. Since I was at a private school, PreK-8 was uniform only. High school (9-12) had a strict dress code: collared shirt, slacks (no jeans), no jewelry, and dress shoes. Tennis shoes or sneakers could only be worn during PE class. There was a special uniform for PE. Basically the school’s dress code was clothing from The GAP. I bought my first pair of jeans sophomore year of college.

    “No education, no good job, prison records, drug problems, bunch of babies, and even worse, we allow the “educated ones” to feel like their the king of the castle.”
    No education, no good job, prison records, drug problems – see the point above. Furthermore, it doesn’t matter what race, ethnicity, or country you are from women (single, married, divorce, or widowed) are responsible for instilling character, values, and raising productive children. How come a white woman can raise a black man to go double ivy (Columbia and Harvard Law) and run for President but an unusual percentage of black women can’t?
    bunch of babies – As far as I know it takes two. Why do black women never ever talk about their role in the problem? How come black women haven’t mastered the use of preventive birth control? How come black women haven’t mastered the use of the emergency day after pill, just to be absolutely sure pregnancy does not occur? How come black women don’t say no? If you have to have sex and you are not married, how come black women haven’t mastered other sexual techniques that won’t lead to pregnancy?

    “…educated ones” to feel like their the king of the castle. They know they are the exception and use that and the fact that no black girl wanted to talk to them in school as an excuse to date out.”
    Shame on you!!!! You know that is dead wrong, from my experience most black women don’t like nerds and take the position “Nerds need not apply!!” Maybe you are one of the few that liked nerds, but you are rare. My statements maybe harsh, but they are true. Asian girls know today’s nerd will be a tomorrow’s doctor, dentist, lawyer, or business executive, and aggressively go after those types. White girls tend be 50 / 50 or try to game the system and have their cake and eat it too. Unfortunately, in this day and age you have to have a college degree and that usually requires a lot of A’s and high standardized test scores. If you are not a nerd (not necessarily in looks) you probably won’t go to college. In talking to other college educated black men who weren’t athletes the experience was very similar.

    My dress today reflects my up bring. A lot black women moan groan about not having any clean cut guys, but when they see it they attack it. If I go near a large group of blacks I get grief for my clean cut look.

    In high school I had an Asian girlfriend. The black girls either wanted the bad boys from the public schools, ball players from the public schools, pretty blond surfers, or the bi-racial black guy with green eyes with nice “good” hair. Black women avoided me like the plague during high school and college. This is probably the reason I do not fall into the group – another black guy with a bunch of out of wedlock kids. Thank God!!!

    In college, my experience was very different than your view. Most black girls took a very hostile / anti-male attitude towards me. Most had comments along the line, “you shouldn’t be here, you should have a blue collar job, real guys don’t go to college, etc…

    After graduating from college and relocating to the Northeast I ran into a lot of black women who came across pissed that I had made it. Very few seemed to take the opportunity to make some kind of positive move to hook a successful black guy. Most seemed more interested in sharpening the proverbial ax and in chopping me down to size. God help you for saying good morning to a black woman you see week after week at the gym or on the jogging trail.

    Matter of fact, in college and after graduating from college I was asked the typical series of questions (education, playing ball, prison records, drug problems, bunch of babies). First, the questions were degrading at best. Second, most blacked women seemed more upset or perplexed that I didn’t have any of these issues. Third, all asked or implied I must be a fagg*t some were politically correct and used the word gay or homosexual. As you may guess my dating experience with black females on college was limited with very few second dates.

    At no time did I ever think of myself as the exception. Furthermore, I was too busy studying and taking leadership roles to make sure my application for college and later for graduate school had some weight to it. However, I did know I had no desire or ability to play sports and that was basically a death sentence. The whites and Asians picked me after the invisible guy had been picked.

    “What they won’t say, however, is how they were too busy fantasizing about the lightest girl in the class and rarely, if ever, gave the really nice black girl the time of day.”
    I would say it is true for some but not for all. Most of the non-fair black girls at my school had one thing in common, overweight. +300 pounds was very common. I am from the West Coast and obesity is not attractive. The few height / weight proportional black women were only interested in trying to get their 4.0 GPA. The fair skin girls were a little more social.

    “Black men have never had our backs.”
    How did you determine that? If American black men are so bad, take a page from the white play book, go get a black man from another part of the country or another country all together. White women seem to have the same grip about white men, and white women just go get a man from anther country.

    “get dogged, usually get left with a kid”
    No you selected the wrong type of guy. You left out you like your guys rough and tumble with a gold tooth and corn rows.

    Now they have the nerve to dog black women out, call us ugly, golddigging, materialistic, and loud?
    There are a lot of loud black women. I hope you are not trying to say other wise.
    In regards to gold-digging and materialistic, most women of any race are. Most men of any races realize this and try to eliminate the women who will break them financially, women who are out of their league, or the women who will leave once the money dries up.

    They really think that “barbie” would give their tired arses the time of day if they had no loot.
    Very few woman of any race search for poor guys, bad boys / thugs are the only exception.

  60. Carrie says:

    Great link which defines white priviledge more thouroughly:

    http://whiteprivilege.com/definition/

  61. Steve says:

    There’s one common thread here: SOMEONE ELSE is always responsible. Well, you’re right…

    Who do you think dismantled the built in racial laws in the USA? What color were they?

    whiteprivilege.com? Good lord give me a break. Thank your lucky star your ancestors ran the border or caught a boat (or were sold onto a boat). That’s how we all got here. American indian? You walked here too – getting to the party early doesn’t make you special.

    Regardless of your color (white too), everyone’s SORRY about what happened, OK?
    Now get to work.

  62. the angry black woman says:

    Gee, Steve. You don’t seem very sorry. You seem more shrill and unreasonable. I guess we’re not the only ones who need to “Get over it”. Calm down, take a pill or something. You’re obviously off your meds.

  63. Steve says:

    Because I have zero to be sorry for ABW. While your ancestors were drug over here by some very nasty people, mine were trying to keep some chow on the table while hoping the local noble didn’t toss them off his land.

    I’m 55, and was lucky to grow up in a very mixed racial area, and looking back over the years only one thing made a difference — some people got up and DID something to improve their lives and others had a million reasons why they could not. There’s no “advantage” to being white (unless you’re a noble). There’s only advantage in persistence – when you live somewhere where you can better your life – and we both do.

    People feel anger for one reason — someone (or themselves) has violated their personal set of rules for how the world and the people in it are supposed to behave. Period. No exceptions.

    Take a hard look at your personal rule set. Shed anything holding you back.

    I admit my first post was facetious, but it was to make a point – what’s stopping most people, NOW.

  64. Angel H. says:

    …what’s stopping most people, NOW.

    Bullshitting old men like you.

  65. Steve says:

    Well thanks Angel, very well thought out opinion. Spend some time in the Required Reading section here.

    I’ve been reading everything here and some of the linked sites on white priv, but unless someone can point it out, I’m not seeing something folks (white) can take action on. The section on male priv has real merits, but I work in healthcare – all the executives are mostly female and honestly, I see the same executive abuses, just less vulgarity.

  66. Tom says:

    People feel anger for one reason — someone (or themselves) has violated their personal set of rules for how the world and the people in it are supposed to behave. Period. No exceptions.

    Steve, I’m curious. What is the thinking behind your heavy use of the Voice of Authority here? Do you find that condescension is an effective tool for convincing people? Are you trying to make a point about my inferiority to you? Do you genuinely have all the answers and just want to share? What is it?

  67. Angel H. says:

    Well thanks Angel, very well thought out opinion.

    Thank you.

    Spend some time in the Required Reading section here.

    Not only have I spent some time reading the material, I know exaclt what she’s talking about because as a Black woman, I’ve had to live on the opposite end of the spectrum when it comes to white privilege and male privilege. And, as I’m typing this, I’m feeling like a broken record because I’ve had to explain this so many times to so many people just like you who just don’t get or who just don’t want to get to it. And ABW, the other posters on this site, and myself are not the only ones.

    I’ve been reading everything here and some of the linked sites on white priv, but unless someone can point it out, I’m not seeing something folks (white) can take action on.

    Do you actually want to? I question the sincerity of a man who actually believes I should be grateful for the fact that my ancestors were stolen from their homeland and forcibly dragged thousands of miles over land and sea to be sold into bondage. (Thank your lucky star your ancestors ran the border or caught a boat (or were sold onto a boat). )

  68. the angry black woman says:

    Dear Steve,

    First of all, Angel was totally correct in his assessment of you as a bullshitting old man. Just to say. Now, as to your specific points.

    “Because I have zero to be sorry for ABW. While your ancestors were drug over here by some very nasty people, mine were trying to keep some chow on the table while hoping the local noble didn’t toss them off his land.”

    I don’t recall anyone asking for you to be ‘sorry’ because people int he past engaged in the slave trade. i mean, it would be good if that made you sad, but if you don’t feel sad about that, I don’t actually care. It’s just more data for me and everyone else here to label you.

    And the fact that you bring up your poor, downtrodden ancestors tells me that you have no real argument other than “Oh yeah? Well, my ancestors had it BAD as well!” Whih is damned stupid.

    How does the sadness your ancestors experienced affect you today? Does it cause you to not be able to get a job? Perhaps you’ve been unfairly discriminated against because your great-great-great grandfather didn’t have a full belly every night. I’m sure someone has called you a nigger because they somehow sensed there was hardship in your family’s past.

    the material point, Steve, is that what happened to my ancestors still affects me negatively whereas what happened to your ancestors is an interesting story to tell your kids. It has not disadvantaged you in any way.

    So no, I’m not asking you to be sorry for anything. What I’m asking is that you acknowledge that, because of the color of my skin, because of the prevailing attitude of white men like you, because this is America, I have a different experience of life than you do. What I’m asking you is to take what i have to say about MY life and MY experiences and the lives and experiences of the people like me at face value instead of fucking arguing with me every step of the way about every point I, or other folks in the know, bring up.

    To put it succinctly: you’re a white man. You don’t know what it’s like to be a black woman. You don’t know what it means to be a minority of any kind. So shut the fuck up and listen or go away.

    This is your first warning.

  69. Steve says:

    Tom: After re-reading my post I can see where you would make the “Voice of Authority” and “condescension” comments. My apologies for not writing more clearly — my only defense is that I’m not a professional writer and it can be difficult to get the right nuance in print. On the “inferiority to you”, just the exact opposite — and to answer you question “What is it?”:
    The point was to emphasize that, if you’re posting from the USA, you don’t need anyone’s permission to do what you want with your life and that, regardless of color or sex, you aren’t inferior to Anyone. I believe that life is now, which does include the reality of bigots, culture, historical context, etc but – some of that’s out of your control, but no one controls YOU, unless you allow them to. That includes letting people “make” you angry, or destroy your feelings of worthiness. Easy to say I know, harder to do.

    And yes Angel H., it really, really, doesn’t matter how you got here, you’re here today. One of the few places you can physically live and change your life. That you actually live in the USA means, on that point, you’re as lucky as I am.

    The comment on where anger comes from will be familiar to any of you or your friends who’ve taken a Psychology degree (or studied Gandhi & MLK’s lives). It was offered earlier as a statement, because hopefully the reader will then ask themselves, is that true?
    Until you’ve dealt with anger, there’s zero hope of progress in any other area. It just blinds people. If you read the other posts directed at me dispassionately, you’ll see just how quickly just letting my age be known produced immediate stereotypical replies.
    Just switch the colors and ages of the various posters and you’ll see why these race, gender (and now age) issues are such tough problems to solve in real life. In fact, I highly recommend you watch the movie “Gandhi” several times some weekend.

    I believe the anger genesis theory is true and more importantly, works as a starting point. For any of us who’s run into a bigot or is locked into any paradigm that doesn’t serve, (or just wants to be the one who thinks before speaking) we can then get to the root of the emotional issues with anger and reframe how to react and what to do so we can improve our life.
    Is that important? I presume so as there’s a lot of effort here figuring out what the heck’s wrong with white people and men, which I also assume ABW and all would like to see fixed. I could be wrong about that, trying to “fix everything” rather than discuss it is a pretty “male” trait.

    Anger makes you believe stuff that’s obviously not true to everyone else.
    Males cannot understand females. Whites can’t understand blacks. “You have no idea…” If that’s true, then there’s no hope. It’s not of course but it works if you have an anger position to support. We can go off into an anecdotal example debate, but that doesn’t serve anyone. It’s enough to know that there are people who “don’t get it” and plenty that do. That just defines the workload.

    and for Angel, I grew up in Hawaii, one of the white kids comprising 8% of the total population where I lived — a population that really does have a problem with white people and raised their kids accordingly. Maybe 1960-70 was a time that means nothing to you, but it was a time when an Asian girl could count on a beating for walking home from school with a “white boy” and you could count on meeting her male relatives within 48 hours. There the word is “haole” and it’s every bit as offensive as “nigger”. I know EXACTLY what it means to be a minority, not just a black female one, although it’s interesting you didn’t ask about my multi-racial upbringing, you just jumped to your stereotype conclusion. I also have the perspective on white priv as I lived on both sides – I can add the “that’s true” to the theory. So I read the blog with an open mind and was also looking for similar experiences, which I saw. I’m also keenly aware now that you don’t have several decades of age perspective.

    The material point, also for ABW, is that you don’t automatically discount ANY person’s life because they’re white, a male or over the age of 25. You sure as hell don’t automatically make assumptions based on that and you give every indication that you do. “I have a different experience of life than you do. What I’m asking you is to take what I have to say about MY life and MY experiences and the lives and experiences of the people like me at face value instead of fucking arguing with me every step of the way about every point I, or other folks in the know, bring up.” I didn’t argue your experience, I did ask what you plan to DO about it.

    Your diagnoses is great for what many women and blacks face in a predominately white Anglo-Saxon culture, but the knee-jerk generalizations to ALL whites and ALL males is absurd. Yeah, I know you run into it a lot, a lot of people live here. That your solution demands everyone to agree 100% with you or “shut the fuck up and listen or go away” really means you only want to lecture and see liked minded posts. That’s fine, it’s your blog even if it is public.

    Not a problem, read what you have and I won’t visit or post here again — I’m blunt but didn’t mean to offend, really. I will say that I’ve met many people who’ve suffered outrageously from bigots, but not one, myself included, that can truly claim their lot in life was because of “them”.

  70. the angry black woman says:

    Don’t have time at the moment to respond to all of this. But Steve, I don’t expect everyone to agree with me 100% of the time. However, I do expect people to listen and take in what i have to say before jumping in and telling me all the ways in which I am wrong. Shut the fuck up and listen is my mantra when dealing with most white people because most of the time they don’t.

  71. Angel H. says:

    ABW: I think your spam blocker ate my last comment.

  72. Shakazp says:

    Right on, sista, set em straight!!

  73. Angela says:

    Your blog is inspiration to me ABW. I love it! Please do not stop blogging ever! I wish you had a forum, because I would gladly join. Ignore these trolls, and those who always want to use the “me too” argument when it comes to black issues. I enjoy reading from you. Peace sista and keep up the good work!

  74. K.A. says:

    Holy shit, these trolls do NOT represent the majority of whites. It’s the same with feminist bloggers who can’t write a single entry about their rape without getting the threatening attacks from misogynists about them being worthless cunts who will get raped again. You wouldn’t know it by the comments section of any website that requires a functional brain to participate in, but these posts are not an accurate, nor random, population sample. The people who get drawn to sites like these are either the lovers are the haters, so it’s completely skewed. So don’t lose your faith in all whites because of these overrepresented scumbag retardos.

    As for the black man who blames black women for everything that’s going wrong in the black community and with his personal inadequacies (Tod)…

    I know not to listen to your bullshit when you get to the part where you say:

    “In regards to gold-digging and materialistic, most women of any race are.”

    Don’t pretend to not understand white supremacists or how racism happens–you know perfectly well, you sexist, ignorant (a tale of private education doesn’t make up for the obvious), laughable hypocrite. Could it possibly be that black women don’t like you because you’re that rare, luscious combination of being both unattractive AND a dim-witted misogynist?! There’s food for thought! Guess I don’t feel too badly about my public education, after all…

  75. K.A. says:

    *or! OR the haters! It’s very important to proof-read before posting accusations of stupidity!

  76. Desi Italiana says:

    Blue Girl #37:

    “For those of us in the US, let’s be really happy that the racism issue (and I’m not saying sexism because rape is still a big deal here), is for the most part (and I know not completely) confined to words. In the Sudan and in Iraq, people are dying because of prejudice.”

    Are you being serious? Why don’t you look at who were the first victims of deadly hate crimes following 9/11 in the US. Who were they? South Asians because they were mistaken for being Arab. And the more important question is why any group would be targeted and attacked simply for their ethnicity. You think racism is confined to words only in America? Please go talk to all the Arab American and South Asian Americans who lived in fear and had good reasons for feeling that way. Many of them lost loved ones due to the “linguistic” racism that exists in America. It’s a joke that you would say that racism exists only in words. What’s true is that racism is institutionalized and exerts itself violently when there is an excuse to do it.

    ABW, thanks for this website. I am struck over and over again when I hear people say that racism doesn’t exist in America. This usually comes from white people, who because they are not at the end of racism, think that racism is an issue that ironically, we non white folks have perpetuated. Even one of my roommates who’s generally nice will make stupid comments like, “well, Mexicans have a way of being violent when dealing with things.” Then he’ll launch into eloquent discussions on middle class privileges and racism against blacks. I could give lots of stories of getting into fights in high school (which is not that long ago) because some white girl called me a “ni*&@er” (I’m South Asian American but can be quite dark when I’ve been out in the sun). I’m a bit older now, but it still pisses me off that I had to go through all of that nonsense- violence, being approached and told that I’m “fucking sick” and I need to “go back” and then tailgate my car and follow me home. And it pisses me off even more when I hear people dismissively say that I should “get over it.” Live in my shoes first and then tell me to get over it.

  77. Desi Italiana says:

    Oh, and Blue Girl– also, check out the demographics of those who are imprisoned in Guantanamo Bay. Are they white? And no, if you respond that they are there because they are “terrorists,” that is dubious at best. You can’t incriminate someone without habeaus corpus, and courts which are NOT the same as military tribunals which have their own rules and structure. None of these people have been tried, none of them even have any formal accusations against them. Those detainees are languishing in there with no future, no hope, which is why most have attempted suicide. They are subject to torture and have been tortured.

    Do read the reports that human rights organizations, civil liberties groups, and journalists have written.

  78. Angie says:

    I’m glad that you are blogging about this topic. I am not seeing on the Internet the trailer for the Diary of a Tired Black Man…a black man tired of angry black women. I’ve been called vicious by many men (and other women) for speaking up and taking a stand on issues. I stopped being nice to them and all of sudden I’m an angry black woman. Then one day I was studying different cultural traditions and came across versions of the angry black woman in the mythologies of the Goddess. Goddesses such as Kali (the ultimate angry black woman), Pele (with her volcanic temper), Medusa (turning people to stone), or Artemis (kill a man ogling her)and I realized that anger is the key to personal transformation. Men want women to stay in their place (similiar to how black people in the Jim Crow south were expected to act like a shuffling step-in, fetch it). All women have a genuine right to be angry and that is to stop people from denigrating and subordinating us.

  79. Corby says:

    Yeah, um, while all of you are laughing and pointing, remember that three more fingers are pointing right back at you.

    The fact that you immediately ridicule Steve and anyone who doesn’t agree with you, or isn’t black, proves that you have no interest in having a dialog, just a monologue. If it weren’t for the fact that you apparently need a bunch of sycophants to make you feel superior, you should just turn off the comments. Because you sure as hell are not interested in listening to a different viewpoint.

  80. the angry black woman says:

    Corby would have a point if anything he said was actually true. ah well, can’t win ’em all.

  81. Corby says:

    “Hmm… everyone, please feel free to join me in pointing and laughing.”

    “say it loud… you’re funny! hahahahahahahahahahaha *continues to point and laugh for a while*”

    “Angry Black Women have the advantage in almost all conflict situations.”

    “Do your thing. It’s a beautiful thing, after all.”

    “you’re a white man. You don’t know what it’s like to be a black woman. You don’t know what it means to be a minority of any kind. So shut the fuck up and listen or go away.”

    “Right on, sista, set em straight!!”

    “Shut the fuck up and listen is my mantra when dealing with most white people because most of the time they don’t.”

    “Bullshitting old men like you.”

    “Yeah, I’m another angry black woman.”

    There is plenty more, that’s just from this page. If this isn’t sycophantic rambling and dogmatic posturing, I don’t know what is.

    Look, I admire that you have the guts to say what you feel needs to be said. You are obviously intelligent and you write very well. (While you probably think I mean “You are very well spoken” like some ignorant redneck, I am saying this in relation to most other independent blogs and even some journalists, of any color, etc.)

    I liken your crusade to the Flag Burners. I have no issue with burning a flag, it’s a piece of cloth, which only has the meaning you imbue it with. When it’s gone, you can go get another one at Wal-Mart that was probably made in China or some impoverished “third-world” country. But no one is going to listen to the flag burners message, because they are so focussed on their methods.

    The same could be said about you. While you will have those who listen, and obviously have a rabid following, those who could most benefit from your message will be turned off by your method.

    But you aren’t going to change anything because of some message left on your blog, I know that. I just think you should be aware, if you are not already, that all you are doing is preaching to the choir, when there’s a whole bunch of people in the church waiting to be informed by someone like yourself who could do so much more.

  82. Angel H. says:

    Shorter Corby:

    “Give it up, negrah! Ain’t nobogy listenin’ to yoooo!”

  83. the angry black woman says:

    bwahahahaha Angel! Oh wait, I’m not supposed to laugh anymore. i am a very serious Angry Black Woman. Ahem.

    Corby, I’m going to assume for a moment that you’re a rational, adult person who lives in the world and has interactions with multiple and varied people most days in your life. I know I’m assuming a lot, but I’ll be generous for now. Anyway, you know as well as I do that there’s hardly a point in engaging certain people in rational, adult conversations because they cannot see past their own noses/issues/beliefs, whatever.

    One good example is a certain kind of Christian Fundamentalist who will not listen to what anyone but their parents and/or their pastor says. If the church tells them that dinosaurs and cavemen existed together in the garden of Eden, then they did! If the Bible says that God hates Fags (even if it doesn’t), then he must! Even if you talked to this person for hours and days and years, they probably wouldn’t change their mindset because you are a crazy outsider, or the Devil, or whatever. They’re trained NOT to listen to you. You might feel sad about them, you might still try, but it’s going to take more than you just telling them what’s what for them to realize.

    Now, take that same scenario and transfer it to most white people in America. Except it isn’t just the Pastor or their parents telling them foolishness, it’s the ENTIRE CULTURE. How in the world will you get past such pervasive programming? Sometimes you can’t, sometimes you can. But thinking back on your life, I’ll just bet that there are plenty of people who you’ve felt held a ridiculous opinion and, seeing that they can’t be persuaded out of it, you either feel bad about them or you laugh at them either to their face or behind their backs. heck, it’s almost an American pastime to laugh our asses off at Pat Robertson and the people who believe him. The Creation Museum elicited more titters than a rare Jay Leno monologue that is actually funny.

    In the face of rampant racism, ignorance, and bad manners, I have two choices. I can tirelessly work to educate the masses patiently, or I can laugh at utter assholes who come to MY space on the web and insult me then presume to tell me how to be. How dare you point and laugh! they scream. All the while passing judgment as if they know what it’s like to be constantly under attack not just because of my views, but because my header proclaims that I am both black and a woman and therefore a target.

    yet through all that I still find a way to have a decent conversation with most people. there have been plenty of times on this blog when someone has come in, honestly seeking to understand, or even disagreeing but doing so respectfully, and I have dialogued with them. Hell, even some people who *don’t* come here respectfully get better treatment than they give because, for whatever reason, I feel they are educatable. So your assertion that this blog is only for sycophants and that we shout down everyone who disagrees is both ignorant and laughable. It shows that you’ve not been reading this blog for very long and you haven’t read nearly a quarter of the posts and comments. You, like most of the people who comment here and not on one of the posts, had already made up your mind about me the minute you saw the name of this blog.

    So, yes, I point and laugh. because a lot of you idiots are laughable. The only other choice I have is to cry. And I do enough of that over important things in my life and not random jerkwads on the internet. You want someone to come hold your hand through this? then you go find a website called “The Happy Black Woman” and ask her to do so. You want me to be politer to some of these people? You teach them some manners and, while you’re at it, give them some diversity training. You want me to change how I relate to folks on my blog? Then you go out and change the world. Until then, I have no time for you.

  84. Raquel says:

    Ts s rdcls! m yr sld, WHT nd cnt blv wht m rdng! wh vr md ths wdst s fckng rtrdd! NGR BLCK WMN??? r y rcst? r m mss jdgng smthng? wh cnt t b ngr wmn? wh ngr BLCK wmn? y fckng dt. swr t gd f fnd t wh y wr d lk t smck y crss trh fc, nd spt n yr fc. Y BGT!

  85. the angry black woman says:

    all right, that’s it, I’m closing the comment thread here. I can’t take the stupid. Raquel, you’re banned for using the word ‘retarded’ as a pejorative. And also for being 13 and not knowing how to spell. And for generally being an ass.

    Anyway, if anyone wishes to engage me in discussion, do so on an active thread. But, for God’s sake, stay on topic.

    ETA: Hmm, seems that, unlike regular posts, I cannot turn off comments on a “Page” without all of the comments disappearing. Therefore, I shall leave the comments on and deal with the stupid. *long suffering sigh*

    Son of ETA: And what is it with Canadian teenagers? That’s the third one recently who has come here spouting crazy. Am I liked on some Canadian MySpace or something?

  86. Ninja says:

    In short, Corby, you are wasting your time. ABW is right and everyone else is full of crap.

  87. Ico says:

    I am bookmarking your blog, love. <3 It does my soul good to read it. Keep doing what you are doing!

  88. Corby says:

    Angel H:

    You are obviously a student of logic, and have followed my comments very well. In fact, my complimenting of ABW’s ability to write and form cogent arguments must mean I am a racist and beat on minorities for fun. Also, my metaphor about the church and choir indicates my hatred for ABW specifically and my desire to have her shut up, even though I pointed out that many people would love to hear what she has to say.

    Well done.

    As for ABW and your assessment of me. Your title gives a strong indication of your theme here, and this page in particular enforces that. I was hoping it would be ironic, but it was not. I live in the real world, whatever that means, and I have friends and associates of all races and classes and genders and sexualities and whatnot. I think it’s great, because they know things I do not, and educate me constantly on their lives and what it’s like to be them. And I do the same.

    Those people you mention who have ridiculous opinions – I don’t walk away, and I don’t laugh. I engage, and if they walk away, then so be it. Sometimes, we agree to disagree and move on. But I never ridicule them. That makes them defensive and digs them into their opinion more, and makes them more reticent to change.

    But you already know that. And that’s my point. You, and those like you (angry people, not [insert race here] people), prefer that, because it confirms that you are right and they are wrong, since you are willing to dialog and they apparently aren’t. You use confrontational language and then blame them for not listening. It justifies your own behavior to you, and allows you to point the finger of judgment at anyone who disagrees.

    You even characterize me as one of “you idiots” just because I disagree with you. Instead of trying to, initially, prove me wrong, you just make offhand rhetorical comments to dismiss me. Am I not educatable? Did you not draw conclusions based upon my comment?

    I have looked through your blog here, and I have seen you write interesting articles, even though I think you are seeing racism in many places it does not exist. Should I point and laugh at you because of what I find to be a ridiculous and programmed opinion? Of course not, if for no other reason than it’s incredibly rude, and further, this is your house, and I’d do well not to pee in the corners.

    I really don’t think you are a target; I think you THINK you are a target, and do everything in your power to be one. That also plays into the aggressive stance you’ve taken here. Most white people I know are not racist, and would be very offended to be called so. I do know some, and I tend not to associate with them on a regular basis. And when I do, I make it a point to tell them how horrible their racism is, and one of them is my mother.

    But, as another poster said, I am wrong and you are right, regardless of what I say. I still feel that you have a forum that could be used to honestly educate instead of divide. The fact that someone jumped down my throat with such an ignorant comment (Angel H) clearly indicates the environment you’ve cultivated here. If that’s what you prefer, then you’ve done well for yourself, and should be very proud with your cult of personality.

  89. the angry black woman says:

    Corby:

    You even characterize me as one of “you idiots” just because I disagree with you. Instead of trying to, initially, prove me wrong, you just make offhand rhetorical comments to dismiss me. Am I not educatable? Did you not draw conclusions based upon my comment?

    Hon, exactly how much time do you think I should spend on every fool who comes here? I do have a life and other interests outside of this blog. I don’t have the patience to give a deep, psychological assessment of all those whom come here. All I have to go on is the comments they make. And your comment did not give me any indication that you were educatable or worth my time. Your further commentary hasn’t done anything to dissuade that first impression. Especially as you keep repeating the ridiculousness that is “you dismiss me because I disagree!” No, I dismiss you because you disagree unintelligently. At least, that’s how you come off.

    I think you are seeing racism in many places it does not exist.

    well, that’s a lovely opinion to have and it’s your right to have it. I’m going to put forth that, because you’re white, you don’t get to be the arbiter of what is or isn’t racist because, hey, it’s not about you.

    I really don’t think you are a target; I think you THINK you are a target

    And again we come up against an opinion that you hold mainly because you’re white. If you don’t understand how being both black and a woman makes me a target, then you need to go school yourself. It’s not on white men like YOU to determine these things. It explains a lot about you, though.

    Here’s a thing you need to grasp: because you are white and male and have the privilege of such, you are going to have to turn half of your brain inside out to even begin to understand the position I’m coming from You are going to need to feel REALLY uncomfortable for a time because the realization will hit that, yes, because you’re white, your opinion on race from a minority perspective isn’t worth the paper it’s printed on. And yet, you still need to learn more to become a useful part of the discussion on race. You’ll still need to engage, even though you can’t be in control, you can’t make the conversation all about you, and you can’t be The Decider about whether something is racist or someone else is or is not a target because of who they are.

    The environment I’ve cultivated here is one of people speaking their minds freely and not taking shit from the first paternal asshole who wanders by and smacks us on the nose with a newspaper. We’re tired of the shit you and yours offer us and we don’t take it. If you have the balls to stick around and try to learn, that would be just great. But until you figure out how to talk to us without coming off like a crazy fundamentalist (not for jesus, but for whiteness!), we’re not going to cut you any slack.

  90. HANNIBAL says:

    Is your assertion that black men don’t like black women in general, or that we don’t like angry black women?

    In either case, what are your thoughts as to why black men don’t like black women and have they changed as you’ve grown older?

    Looking forward to your response. My compliments on your blog.

    H

  91. titration says:

    ABW – I have a blog crush on you. Just thought I’d say so.

  92. abw says:

    Before I get started, I would like to say that I am not the angry black woman writer/blogger, I am another poster. But I would like to say to Corby that six people may very well be pointing their finger at the three pointing at the others laughing. I am not saying that Steve is not entitled to his point of view but we are entitled to disagree. Who’s to say people not in agreement with the AngryBlackWomen or people that agree with her above bias themselves. We are not syncophants for agree with her because we feel the same way, we just do not see things the way Steve and his supporters do.

    Corby:The same could be said about you. While you will love those who listen, and obviously have a rabid following, those who could mot benefit from your message will be turned off by your method.

    It may behoove the angryblackwoman to consider this up to a point, but Steve himself was dripping with sarcasm and condescension . So why not give this advice to him as well.But you don’t see that and maybe he is entitled to act this way because he’s white. The fact that you called out this blogger and the posters that agree with her syncophants says alot about your objectivity/reason/well-meaning advice and what not. What a way to win us to your take! You defend Mr. slightly inconvenienced white male Steve for being offended but what about minorities that go on white websites/posts/blogs and get offended by whites all the time whether they partially agree with their stance or not. Whether they use tact or not. Few people of your disposition come to their rescue.This scenario is at least as numerous as the other way around. Minorities are told all the time to get over it, lightened up, and toughen up. We are inconvenienced all the time so If we aren’t special why must we bend over backwards to accomodate them. And when it is all said and done, her articles have some truth whether you like her, her personality, or tack or lack thereof. She is not here to win a popularity contest no more than some of the posters that bad mouth her. People will still agree or disagree with her whether he supports her or not. Who’s to say her anger did not evolve from encountering the same attitude over and over with people that disagreed with her displayed despite her possible tack, cool personality, and admiration at times.

  93. abw says:

    Steve, it is bad that your minority girlfriend was ostracized for dating a white guy. Or that you were called haole. But you know as well as I do that your minority girlfriend was met with apprehension from other white people, if not your family. We also know white people have colorful names for Asians and Indigenous Hawaiians. As offensive as your experiences were, they stopped there. You were not denied economic opportunities, etc… and encountered obstacles at the level your minority counterparts were in addition to having to put up with discomfort. This may not be the case for your Asian companion. Also, your experiences in life are different from the average person minority and woman so there is reason to see things differently. People of colors ancestors had to deal with all this stuff in addition to poverty. They had to deal with oppression based on race,colonial/internal colonialism, nationality, and putting chow on the table-and not getting much out of life despite hard work,tenacity, initiative, and pluck. They had few opportunities and no luck. To be honest, it is still like that for their descendants to some extent today. You pay short shrift to our lives but if you refuse to feel where we are coming from and get mad when we throw hostility at you back-cry us a river, a stream, an ocean, and a dam.

  94. abw says:

    Also, successful minorities and unsuccessful minorities suffer in ways whites rich and poor do not have to, whether in the West or the Global South.

  95. Leonard says:

    The group most discriminated against by far has to be ugly people. Halle Berry had more advantages in life being born “pretty” than an “ugly” white boy from her same neighborhood. This discrimination cuts across racial, gender and sexual lines, which makes it arguably the most prevalent injustice of all. Yet, one never hears so much as a peep in regards to this ubiquitous prejudice. No speaches from the podium. No blogs. Nothing. So tell me, why aren’t those of us similarly oppressed by the images of beauty more vocal and more angry? I say, Fuck Halle Berry and the other symbols of anyone who’s ever gotten anything more in life because of a physical attribute. I offer that this is the great inequality of all time and the one you should be focusing your attention (and anger) toward.

  96. CaptainReality says:

    BW sd: “wll, thts lvl pnn t hv nd ts yr rght t hv t. m gng t pt frth tht, bcs yr wht, y dnt gt t b th rbtr f wht s r snt rcst bcs, h, ts nt bt y.” hv rspns: wll, thts lvl pnn t hv nd ts yr rght t hv t. m gng t pt frth tht, bcs yr blck, y dnt gt t b th rbtr f wht s r snt rcst bcs, h, ts nt bt y. Thr. Tw cn pl t tht gm. Y ls sd: “bcs yr wht, yr pnn n rc frm mnrt prspctv snt wrth th ppr ts prntd n.” Wll, tht’s jst grt. f wht ppl r ncpbl f ndrstndng yr pstn, thn t’s nt rtnl tht th vn tr. Hw’s ths? Bcs yr blck, yr pnn n lw nd dmcrc frm hstrcl prspctv snt wrth th ppr ts prntd n. Nnsnscl, sn’t t? bt s nnsnscl s th rbbsh tht y’r spwng. BW, y’r nthng bt n bnxs, bgtd, flt-t rcst f th dvsv knd. Th nl dffrnc btwn ‘crckr’ nd y s tht y’r blck nd hv prsctn cmplx, nd th crckr s wht nd hs n nfrrt cmplx.

  97. CaptainReality says:

    h n! Y’v tkn ll m vwls! Hv fn bng ngr, msrbl, nd cnfrnttnl. t’ll grnt tht y nd ths lk y st t f n pstn f nflnc frvr.

  98. Ken says:

    I find it quite sad that someone is trying to glorify something so negative.

    What does an “angry black woman” gain by being angry? Little more than the contempt of those around her who are better endowed with both manners and social awareness.

    Stop being proud of perpetuating a negative stereotype. Did you ever think for a second, that if you took the chip of your shoulder, people might start to treat you normally?

  99. Ico says:

    “Did you ever think for a second, that if you took the chip of your shoulder, people might start to treat you normally?”

    See Ken, you’ve got it backwards. It’s when society *doesn’t* treat a person “normally” that s/he gets a chip on her shoulder. From your comment it sounds as if you enjoy the privilege of “normal” treatment, so of course anger seems illogical to you. But if you were the frequent recipient of negative, belittling, or unfair treatment, you might be angry too.

    Why don’t you read up on the sections on “white privilege” and “male privilege”? That might expand your social awareness enough to explain some of the anger.

  100. cathexis says:

    It’s sad to see so much evidence of our society’s institutionalized racism — even here in the comments section of a blog. It is so easy to subjugate and marginalize a people for a few centuries and then step back and say “OK, everything is cool, now and the answer is for you to get over it and solve all of your own problems.”

    1. Everything is not cool: Racism is still rampant. It’s just not as acceptable to be obvious. (Although even that is changing, over the past 7 years.)

    2. Everything is not cool: Misogyny is pervasive in our society and most women who try to “solve their own problems” are labeled femi-nazi lesbian bitches and aggressively suppressed and marginalized.

    3. Telling people “it is all up to them” tends to dismiss/ deny the very real obstacles and suppressions that still exist, even today.

    4. After centuries of suppression, even the most grounded person may have trouble with the “forgive and forget” advice — especially if institutional problems *still* exist, and have been compounded by having lived generations with the aggregating results of those institutional problems.

    Reminds me of that book Adam Shepard wrote (and that someone actually published) which seeks to diminish the plight of the homeless by viewing it through the perspective of a privileged white boy who thinks that because he “roughed it,” for a few weeks that everyone else can apply the same approach to a lifetime (and, at the same time, imply that the causes of the problem are from the victims, themselves).

    Arrogance and hubris abound as too many continue to see life through the prism of their own eyes, while lacking any degree of empathy