In my other life I work for a fashion magazine, as I’ve mentioned. One of my newest assignments is to find the best products to remove hair, whether cream, blades, electric shavers, waxes, whatever. I’m going to surprise you all by saying that I jumped on this assignment. Asked for it, even. Because, you see, I don’t shave.
When the topic of shaving comes up (and it does, every now and then), I usually say that I don’t shave for political reasons. That, as a feminist, I am opposed to the notion that beautiful = hairless below the eyebrows. I am annoyed by our culture’s insistence that hair is gross unless it’s coming out the top of the head. It’s gotten so bad that there is now a war on eyebrows that leads some women to go so far as to shave them off completely only to draw them back on. I find this insane.
I also find it insane that women voluntarily put themselves through something as painful and damaging as waxing for the sake of beauty. Beauty should never, ever cause one pain. No, really.
But beyond all that, I just can’t be bothered to shave random areas of my body. Who would I be doing it for? Not myself, certainly. And not for anyone who might be seeing me naked. I will not be naked in front of a person who fears hair. Because they will probably freak out when they find my hair in the shower, and they always will. It’s a tedious, time-consuming process that has few merits, so I don’t shave.
But every now and then I wonder if there is some product out there that will remove my hair, if not permanently, then for long enough that I don’t have to worry about it much. But hey, home permanent removal will work, too. Why? Because, as much as I rail against our culture for disliking hair and raise that old bugaboo, patriarchy, as the source of this evil, I have to admit: I don’t like hair below the eyebrows much myself.
This makes me feel like a hypocrite, though a very smart friend of mine says not. Still…
As you read this, I am embarking on a quest to find a hair removal solution that keeps hair away for a long time and isn’t painful in any way. (Though I must say i am extremely disturbed by the epilator that just arrived int he mail.)
When I mentioned this over on my LJ, my friend veejane asked some very interesting questions:
How do other women feel about hair on different parts of their bodies? Do other women have differential opinions about kinds of hairiness? How do the products on the market conform to these opinions? How do the politics/anxieties of hairiness on each body part play into the products made available to combat hair?
Almost nobody I know does bikini waxing. (I don’t know any swimsuit models, alas.)
Most women I know shave their legs, daily or weekly or for a special occasion, but it’s something they’ll let go and not feel too bad about one way or the other. People talk about unshaved legs, as a political statement.
Armpit hair is more like talking about farts: everybody knows about it but it’s vaguely embarrassing so we all pretend it never existed.
And stray hairs on your face are, like, not even a question.
I’m intensely interested in having a conversation about these issues. Though it’s all a bit TMI, I feel like it’s something that should be discussed in a group of mature adults, such as most of us are here. As I get and try more products, read more press, and do more research, I’ll have more to contribute to the market aspect of it.
So, ABW readers, what is your opinion on different kinds of hairiness?
I have been shaving since puberty. My naturally dark hair against my paler legs, in my opinion is unattractive and I wear a lot of skirts and dresses. I love the feel of smooth skin wherever possible. I use an electric razor, inexpensive Bic disposables or Nair– depending on time.
I’m a guy, and I shave my face, armpits, and “bikini zone.” I do this, unbidden, for several reasons.
Face: I like to see what my face looks like. Everyone with copious facial hair ends up looking the same. I also get really annoyed when my beard hair starts catching on EVERYTHING. Plus, my girlfriend deserves kisses from a soft, smooth, non-stinky/hairy/whatever set of lips.
Pits: I don’t do this every day or anything, and I wouldn’t care that much if my girl was the same way (she shaves every day, though, and always has, as she just really doesn’t like the feeling of having prickly hair on her body and every shaveable part of her body in the time it takes me to do my face). I shave here maybe once or twice a month, basically keeping it around a quarter of an inch or lower. I do this because it raises the effectiveness of antiperspirant and I like the silhouette better if I’m wearing a tank top or something. Pit hair will also hang on to sweat and stink more than hairless skin, so off it goes!
Pubes: This I will not budge on. I do it out of respect for the girl I am with, and I expect her to do the same. Basically if I am going to have my mouth all over something that’s going to be getting pretty sweaty and slimy, I would VASTLY PREFER it not also be filling my mouth with hair and getting caught in my teeth and whatnot. Plus it makes the area smell better (this is true for guys and girls).
As for legs, I dunno. I shaved my legs once just to see what it was like. They felt wet for a long time after. It was strange. I chalk up the girls-shave-legs-guys-don’t thing like this. Girls’ clothing, pants especially, are more likely to be fitted and contoured to the shape of the female body. Men’s attire fits more like a geometric shape that men are installed into. Women’s attire plays off the natural beauty of the feminine shape, all opposing curves and whatnot. Having hair under close-fitting pants all the time would get really annoying.
Before you attack the horrible patriarchy for enforcing clean-shavedness on your downtrodden sisters, think of this first. Shaving may be unnatural, but you know what else is? Clothing. And civilization. Sometimes we alter “natural” behaviors because we, as a society, feel we have evolved past them regardless of whether our physical evolution agrees. This is not necessarily bad, for instance that mindset is what has kept Stephen Hawking alive even though nature says he should be dead, and he obviously has much to offer the world, right? If living in a civilized society and wearing clothing is made less appealing by having ungroomed body hair, it is within the rights and abilities of a person to edit that hair if they so choose.
I am not one of those people that expects a girl I’m with to pluck her eyebrows away to nothing, shave her arms, wear a ton of makeup, etc., and that’s okay. I have a beautiful girl I love with all my heart and we are both perfectly comfortable and happy with each other’s aforementioned level of grooming and hygiene. There may be people that would want more, and that’s okay, as there is someone out there for them that is more than happy to accomodate that. There may be people, such as yourself, who don’t want to put in that much effort and that is also fine, as you will find someone out there who is comfortable and happy with your described level of grooming.
What I’m getting at is that you don’t need to “speak for all women” or “for everyone” or rail against this perceived injustice, as your answers may not be right for everyone. Decide what you like for yourself, and let other people choose what they like without you telling them they should feel bad for it.
Alright, I just saw this now and read a bunch of the previous posts and I have to say something about it. When I read this I thought, ‘finally someone who agrees with me on this’.
It is RIDICULOUS that anyone should be made to feel inferior because they take a natural approach to hair. And that’s what it does. You see people saying logically it makes no sense, but they still feel BADLY and ASHAMED about having body hair. If you want to shave do it, but there shouldn’t be a preference for one or the other, because what that does is perpetuate that preference onto others. And you want to know why it’s REALLY popular to be hairless? Because now you’re spending money for the rest of your life battling it making companies a fortune.
I’m a girl, but I’m not a feminist. As some people have reasoned on their own, doing stupid things just doesn’t make sense whether it’s women doing them or men. I think women do a ton of retarded things to themselves (men as well) for no reason! If everyone just left well enough alone people wouldn’t feel horrible about being hairy.
And for the record being hairless is in no way more or less hygienic so that is utter crap. You aren’t less clean if you have hair. Does having hair on your head make your scalp a less clean place? Just shower, wear deodorant and you’ll be clean and smell less. THAT is being hygienic, showering. What a concept!
And for the post above mine, clothes should be optional as well. But see even clothes serve more of a purpose than shaving. Clothes at least keep you warm. And civilization is an ambiguous term I think. People living in social groups and caring for one another was probably in place when we were climbing around in the trees still, so technically that is actually natural.
Anyway, you can say people who like being hairy shouldn’t make people who shave feel badly, but then why should we feel badly? How is it more alright to bash a hairy person than a non-hairy person? Not that I’m saying that’s what you were doing, just using that as a vague sample for a general statement. People do this with all sorts of things. Weight, race, ethnicity (not the same as race), curly hair vs. straight hair, everything. What is the need to make other people feel like crap? God… know what? I’m moving. This culture is driving me crazy.