Hugo Schwyzer: I want my daughter to grow up in a world in which all men are safe, responsible, reliable
“Too many of us still believe that “self-respect” for a woman means chastity and modesty. If she’s wearing revealing clothing, enjoys attention, and maybe even likes sex outside of a committed monogamous relationship, we call her a “slut”—and accuse her of not respecting herself. Perhaps she does respect herself, perhaps she doesn’t. (Promiscuity is not perfectly correlated with low self-esteem, despite what a lot of pop psychologists tell you.) But in the end, it doesn’t matter. Women aren’t commodities whose value is based on their own fluctuating sense of self-worth.”—
Hugo Schwyzer (I want my daughter to grow up in a world in which all men are safe, responsible, reliable — The Good Men Project Magazine)
YES YES YES YES YES YES
(via whatsajuthika)
From The Angry Black Tumblr | Comment below or Reblog @ Tumblr
Usually when a woman or man has multiple sex partners they do tend to lack self respect. I do agree with fact that a person’s value is innate and does not diminish,because they make certain choices. However, certain choices can lead to devastating consequences and being ultra promiscious has statistically and historically lead to alot of unfavorable consequences for people, especially the black community(STD’s HIV, unwanted pregnancy, low self esteem, depression, etc.). These issues are very real and present in our communities and should not be taken lightly.
Usually when a woman or man has multiple sex partners they do tend to lack self respect.
citation needed. And how much of that has to do with irritating religion banging on women;s heads that they should chaste and pure and only have sex with a small number of partners or else they are whores whores whores.
However, certain choices can lead to devastating consequences and being ultra promiscious has statistically and historically lead to alot of unfavorable consequences for people, especially the black community(STD’s HIV, unwanted pregnancy, low self esteem, depression, etc.). These issues are very real and present in our communities and should not be taken lightly.
Oh GOD I am so sick of this argument! Proper and complete education and easy access to contraception and abortion will take care of most “consequences” of having a lot of sex.
The “avoid the consequences of sex by avoiding sex” argument falls apart when you realize that EVERYTHING has potential consequences, and for the majority of activities, risk-reduction, not total abstinence, is how people deal with this. Driving is dangerous, but most people need or want to drive, and try to do it as safely as possible by using seatbelts, airbags, traffic signs, and driver’s ed. Sometimes accidents happen anyway, but most think the risk of danger is worth it. People get food poisoning all the time, but obviously we don’t stop eating. Instead, we educate ourselves on how to prepare food safely, wash our hands and utensils, and try to properly cook and store food. Sometimes, we get the shits, but nobody blames eating in and of itself for that. Sex is a natural human drive that also has potential consequences, which is why birth control, condoms, and sex education exist. Obviously the “threat” of pregnancy and STIs doesn’t function as a deterrent for the majority of people, and to continue touting abstinence (or debasing “promiscuity”) as a “solution” to the consequences of sex is silly, childish, and totally unrealistic given how humans deal with every single other activity. We are a as a whole a risk-reductionist society, not an abstinent society, and to extend this philosophy to every activity except for sex exposes an obvious puritanical, religious rooted, and typically misogynist bias against sex (especially when you consider how hard the right fights to prevent people from accessing reproductive healthcare and education).
P.S. I’ve had what you probably consider to be “multiple” (more than one?) partners, and I certainly do not lack self respect. In fact, I have so much self respect I believe I’m entitled to a robust, satisfying sex life on my terms, no matter what a bunch of anti-sex asshats want to tell me. The only “consequence” I’ve suffered is one STI – which, by the way, was the result of sexual assault, not consensual sex.