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When Trolls Think They’re Slick

So yesterday while I was moderating comments and I came upon one that started like this: “As you can tell by my name I am a black man…”

The name on the comment was Tyrell. My first thought? Tyrell doesn’t sound like a real name, it sounds like the kind of name people think sounds like a “black name,” like Shaquanzaa or something. (Watch, I am going to get nasty emails from girls named Shaquanzaa now.) Anyway, the comment didn’t strike me as terribly authentic from the first line, and the email address kind of sealed my skepticism:

Anyway, I scanned further down the mod queue and came across a different comment by someone named Jake, who breathlessly informed us all that we’re taking this whole Psychology Today thing “too personally.” Really? Really. And the best part? Jake and Tyrell have the same IP address.

This kind of thing happens every so often. A white person or a man will roll up in here, decide to troll, see that their comments don’t make it out of moderation, then decide to pretend to be black or a woman thinking I’m going to let them out of the box. The problem is, they don’t know how to actually pull off being something they’re not, so they fill their comments with unnecessary qualifiers like “As you can tell by my name I am a black man…”

These people are never as smart as they think they are… which is why they spend time trolling the Internets.

9 thoughts on “When Trolls Think They’re Slick”

  1. Craig Gidney says:

    LOL. I happen to know a black Tyrell…
    Even IF Tyrell were really a black man, if the substance of his comment was, “That study was totally legit!” he’d still be wrong.
    One of these days, you should do a post with all of the nasty crap you haven’t let us see. With names/emails redacted, of course.

    1. Angel H. says:

      With names intact! Make them own their ignorance.

  2. Byron DeMent says:

    That is a hilarious opening line if you ask me, as though anyone would actually open a comment with that phrase. Seems a bit like a giveaway to open your comment with a fervent insistence that you are who you claim you are. Reminds me of Invader Zim.

    PS – As you can tell by MY name, I am a 19th-century English romantic poet.

  3. Sean says:

    I love this post! You should expose trolls more often, it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

  4. Missy says:

    Seconding the suggestion to post the nonsense with names intact! And adding a hope that you’ll dissect them in your inimitable way.

    I moderate a legal information forum, and have all kinds of fun with the wannabe trolls. It’s great fun to watch them get all indignant and huffy.

  5. untitleme says:

    ABW, you’re at your best when you screw with these trolls on your site, and I love it. They’e obviously gluttons for punishment if they keep coming back here again and again…

  6. zargon quex says:

    As an Alpha Centaurian, I have only to say: bahahahahaha that is hysterical. Thanks for sharing!

  7. John P. says:

    As you can tell by my name I’m am so loaded with privilege it’s amazing I don’t explode into money and lily scented bibles.

  8. Jackie M. says:

    Aw, white guys are so cute when they get so desperate that they pretend to be something else just to have their opinions heard.


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