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Dear Straight Cisgender People Who Are Showing Out

Sometimes it’s just not about us. Really, it’s okay for oppressed and marginalized groups to want to have things that are just for them. I promise you, giving up a teensy bit of space in the world will not kill you. You say this offends you because you consider yourself an ally? Hmm, I think you’ve got the wrong end of the stick on the ally concept if you think it means demanding that you be included in everything. In fact being a good ally often involves shutting the fuck up and taking a step back. There’s this curious concept called listening that some folks seem to have left by the wayside. So let me boost the signal a wee bit and point out that when you sound like this person completely ignoring historical and social context in order to bolster your complaints? It is probably a good time to listen to all the people telling you that you’re on the road to Fail. I understand that 2009 seems to be the year where everyone eats their foot, but could we just once not engage in a repeat of the same shitty privileged behavior? I’m starting to feel like we need a “These are asshole moves” bingo board and drinking game for 2010, and that’s a bad thing for my brain and my liver.

No love,

The (mostly) straight woman who would like to stop screaming at the internet.

P.S. Yes, there are certainly some valid criticisms of the way this was handled. And I’m sure there are some valid internal GLBTQ community critiques of the Lambda Awards too. That doesn’t change the fact that this particular critique is built (at best) on privilege and entitlement.

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