That Post On Psychology Today? Is Gone Now. More Thoughts…
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There are, of course, screen caps and repostings of the heinousness because, no matter what PT thinks, folks don’t intend to forget this so easy. I mean, did they really think that would work?
Anyway, I had a couple more thoughts on this mess.
1. According to Karnythia, before I saw that post it had a different, even more terrible title: Why Are Black Women Ugly? Dudes.
2. This is ironic because just this morning I was thinking about Karnythia and the post she did a long time ago about the dark side of being pretty. I remember how there were a lot of commenters up in arms about that post because the woman dared to announce to people that she knew she was attractive.
I’ve often picked apart the many things that go into such reactions. For one, it’s somehow considered
gosh gauche to admit that you think you’re pretty if you’re a woman. You’re supposed to be modest about it or something. But we all know that shit gets old fast, especially when certain people use that false modesty in manipulative ways.
Even that is a coping method that our society teaches is good. Don’t outright ask for or go after what you want, manipulate people into giving it to you or doing what you want. Especially if you’re conventionally pretty.
And some women are conditioned to actively hate other women who they perceive as being more beautiful, no matter what the circumstance.
But beyond the general distaste for people announcing how they’re attractive, I think it was doubly disturbing for some because Karnythia is black. Black women aren’t allowed to think of themselves as pretty and to discuss the downside of being attractive to men.
The fact that the PT blogger really thought he could get away with saying “Black Women Are Ugly” lays it all out. It’s not as if it’s not something we hear everyday, explicitly or implicitly. And even if we choose to be vocal and say the opposite, there are always those who will come along and try their hardest to smack us back into thinking we’re wrong.
One of the reasons I was thinking about that post this morning is because I often have a hard time accepting it when people tell me I’m attractive. A few months ago there was anonymous love meme, and I got a thread, and there are a bunch of people who expressed the opinion that I am hot. My immediate thought was: No, I’m not. And you know what? That is a fucked up first thought to have.
So screw that shit: I am hot. :P
How about you?