I’m not particularly into BDSM myself; I sometimes read BDSM erotica, some of which works for me and some of which leaves me cold (or worse); I’m currently in a poly relationship in which my primary partner also has another partner who is her sub; I have a number of friends and acquaintances who are involved in BDSM relationships and/or communities to greater or lesser degrees and who trust me enough to have let me know that; and I’m willing to engage in BDSM play with a partner to whom doing so is important, though I’d probably be terrible at maintaining BDSM interaction all the time or even in all my sexual interactions with a given partner (and I recognise that that’s not an indication of there being anything wrong with BDSM, just that it’s not something I’m by nature adept at, like bowling or flying a helicopter).

As a result, reading through your list made me aware of my privileges in comparison to people I know (and people I don’t) who are into BDSM (and/or other kinks I don’t share) in ways that made me thoughtful and sometimes uncomfortable. Being made aware of one’s unconscious privileges is rarely comfortable, but (hopefully) is always enlightening. It also made me realise the extent to which I’ve blinded myself somewhat to some of the privileges I do still have, despite being a disabled female-bodied non-Christian queer trans person of mixed race who “passes” (as white) in some situations but not in others and is also frequently mistaken for being Jewish or Muslim, and so is far more accustomed to being aware of privileges others around me are taking advantage of which are not available to me.

So, thank you, thank you, and thank you.

http://www.amptoons.com/blog/archives/2006/09/22/the-non-trans-privilege-checklist/

Perhaps that varies person-to-person. What’s different between kinky/gay is that kinky people really can hide their kink without major life consequences (though it does cause difficulty with finding partners and figuring out consent issues) – but the down side there is we end up being invisible. I have recently seen people using the terms “heteronormative” and “non-heteronormative” and feel like I have a place there. As do straight men who like pegging.

http://takesupspace.wordpress.com/cis-privilege-checklist/

No one calls consensual sex between married/highly committed heterosexual partners “disgusting.”

Not completely true. I’ve heard too many “ewwwwww, old people sex!”. Although I suppose “old gay people sex” would induce a longer eww.