Comments on: What Do You Do When You Experience or Witness Street Harassment?

By: Nisi Shawl

Nisi Shawl — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 20:15:31 +0000

Back in Michigan a construction worker two stories up hollered at me: “Nice hair!” I hollered back: “Nice ass!”

A beat or two of embarassed silence, then the man finally managed to yell something back: “Thanks!”

By: julie brilliant

julie brilliant — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 10:03:19 +0000

I totally agree with you and do actually share your approach. Sexual harrasment is so much part of being a woman I almost managed to forget how much it limits me. The other day I was in a train in Berlin, Germany. I was with two little boys aged 6 and 11. So we where on our way back from a party, where Usain Bolt was at since it was at the time of the athletics championship in Berlin. Well we headed back from the party, wich was utterly filled with sexual harrasment of its own kind, since it was not just a party in Berlin, it was somewhat “jamaican” and that means you find all kinds of jungle fever there. You know like zillions of white fols with Dreadlocks and white women chasing Black men and so on. Anyways we got on the train, which was of course filled with drunken people, men and women. Then something happened that I didn´t even consider surprising because I either always witness or am part of the harrasment myself basically every week. A group of young boys comes in, teenagers not older than 17 and one girl. The girl sits down where the boys sit or the other way around. Well me being with those two lil babyboys trying to get them home safely actually made me feel different than before because I felt I not only have to make sure I protect myself but also these children. Well the teenagers, one was of course the loudest whereas the other boys did neither participate nor intervene, starting talking to the girl. Or rather about the girl and i was irritated but still thought she knows them. The guy goes and now even my little boys are listening and find it very disturbing. The guy was talking about the girl in sexist terms, insulting her as she didn´t reply to his “you are damn fine…” shit. Only then I realized she didn´t know them either but she just didn´t stand up and leave. Usually I intervene, the train was packed btw, but I didn´t realize the situation until we and the girl left the train. And the children I had with me asked wether they know her or not, they didn´t understand what was going on. When the girl also left the train, at the same time as we did, the guys started moving away from the “you look good I want you”-harrasment and started calling her a slut and a whore.
I was annoyed with me not having completely understood the situation before. then I had to xplain what just happened to the boys because I felt like I have to so they know better what it´s like and how wrong these kind of guys are. So I ended up explaining what whore means to a six year old. The good thing these children are really cool, the understood Iwas telling them and where completely aware how wrong those guys are. The six year old even suggested what he thought I could have done and what those guys shouldn´t have said.
So for one part I was happy to see that there is some kind of hope, like I see how the children reacted towards it but it also mad me aware that I somehow have become numb when it comes to sexual harrasment. I can´t think of one time on a pubic train at night where I didn´t get harrased and nobody intervened or signaled towards that I am not alone. But I just remembered I rather put that knive back into my purse and use it when necessary like I used to do when I was younger just so I do not feel so powerless. And all of my friends have pretty much the same experience. nobody where we go female bodies are objected to sexual harrasment and violence in public. I mean how many times did I or and of the women I know have had to protect either ourselves or other women. Men don´t step up and there is no point waiting for them to do it.
We should get armed and fight back! I am tired….

By: Liz L

Liz L — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 18:47:58 +0000

I tend to get vocal, because I want everyone in the vicinity to know that what is happening is not OK, or normal, or something that can be ignored or laughed off.

I once ended up following this asshole for something like 8 blocks and watched as he “brushed up” or “bumped into” every woman he passed. He barked like a dog while getting into the personal space of a bunch of preteens who had no clue how to respond. So when we got to this big crowded square (outside the American Girl store in Chicago!) and I knew I was going to lose him, I shouted something along the lines of “Fuck off and leave those girls alone.” At which point all the guy can throw back at me is a few stammers and “Hey fat lady, take it up the ass.”

That guy had serious issues, and I doubt I caused him anything more than temporary embarassment. But it felt good to call him out because the lesson sank home for the fifty or so people who watched the scene go down: if I can call out a man who sexually harasses women and in broad daylight, *why can’t you?*

By: Julie

Julie — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 02:38:16 +0000

Back Off: How to Confront and Stop Sexual Harassment and Harassers

Great book with creative and real stories from women dealing with street and habitual harassment. I recommend it to any woman who is sick and tired of looking at the ground and shuffling away from a nasty comment. Pass it on.

By: C

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 03:13:15 +0000

Priceless! Good one

By: C

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 03:11:40 +0000

I usually tell them to get a life and walk off. If it gets physical and I feel threatened, I use a stun gun.

By: osiyo

osiyo — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 17:17:17 +0000

I had some fuckwit comment on my body at a 7-11 once. It was something along the lines of how one body part was nice, but another could use some work. (I don’t recall exactly what was what, I was too furious) So I reciprocated. At length. For the whole store to hear. I told him his hair was too greasy, his skin was unhealthy, his eyes were too wide, his nose was bulbous, his lips were too thin, his chin was an asschin and his ears were lopsided. And I finished it with ” And that’s just your FACE. I bet you have back hair too. That’s just gross”. I left him standing there turning red, with his mouth hanging open and everyone in the store looked stunned.

You wanna dehumanize me? Better bring a lunch buddy, because I’m a mean fucking asshole and I got all day.

By: brownstocking

brownstocking — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 04:40:00 +0000

so full of win. I heart this forevs.

I do a look and keep walking. If it’s a dirty old man I usually wave and mutter about dreaming.

I generally walk around with the pissed black woman face, though, so, I’m usually left alone.

By: Emma

Emma — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 01:09:06 +0000

Since I have a camera in my phone, I try to take pictures of the guys and tell them I’m uploading them to the Internet with the caption “Skeevy Asshole.” They don’t like that, either. Have you heard of HollabackNYC - "Holla Back NYC empowers New Yorkers to Holla Back at street harassers. Whether you're commuting, lunching, partying, dancing, walking, chilling, drinking, or sunning, you have the right to feel safe, confident, and sexy, without being the object of some turd's fantasy. So stop walkin' on and Holla Back: Send us pics of street harassers! "

By: Katie

Katie — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 03:51:35 +0000

Hey – I used to say the “Stop harassing women! Show some respect” line, but now I usually just say “Fuck you,” as it leads to less discussion.

I do like “What the fuck is WRONG with you?” though. I might start using that.