Comments on: The Difference Between What You Say and What You Are http://theangryblackwoman.com/2009/07/30/the-difference-between-what-you-say-and-what-you-are/ Race, Politics, Gender, Sexuality, Anger Wed, 23 May 2012 23:58:59 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3 By: Melinda Bishop http://theangryblackwoman.com/2009/07/30/the-difference-between-what-you-say-and-what-you-are/comment-page-1/#comment-16430 Melinda Bishop Thu, 06 Aug 2009 14:03:39 +0000 http://theangryblackwoman.com/?p=946#comment-16430 ABW...this. I'm not cool with ANYONE who has racist attitudes, whether they admit it or not. I'm biracial and very light-skinned. I've been called every racial slur in the book by blacks, whites, and Hispanics. My white husband is far from being racist...but there is still some discomfort with talking about it. I hope he will understand someday. Maybe I talk about it too much? But it is only in an effort to open up dialogue about an issue that is still very relevant today. I believe that racism will always be around. I believe that hateful, ignorant people come in all colors. Although my white conservative Republican Southern Christian in-laws are very kind and accepting of me, I know that they are unaware of the prejudice in some of their remarks. My MIL, while she is a simply wonderful lady, seems to have trouble with President Obama and anything he says or does. I realize that this might mostly be because she is Republican but part of me believes that it is because he is not white. She looks for any reason to talk down on him. I simply smile and nod, but at times I wonder if she realizes that her comments make me uncomfortable. Recently she had hip replacement surgery. While we were at the hospital, she made a comment about her Jamaican nurse being "black as the ace of spades". This bothered me a bit, because why was it necessary to talk about the woman's color that way? I love my MIL, but that comment threw me off. It had me looking at her differently. And his sister is simply weird. She seems to be very into her privilege as a white woman. Lots of entitlement issues. Loves to tell others what to do. My husband is the only one who seems a bit willing (if reluctant) to examine race relations. ABW…this. I’m not cool with ANYONE who has racist attitudes, whether they admit it or not.

I’m biracial and very light-skinned. I’ve been called every racial slur in the book by blacks, whites, and Hispanics.

My white husband is far from being racist…but there is still some discomfort with talking about it. I hope he will understand someday. Maybe I talk about it too much? But it is only in an effort to open up dialogue about an issue that is still very relevant today.

I believe that racism will always be around. I believe that hateful, ignorant people come in all colors. Although my white conservative Republican Southern Christian in-laws are very kind and accepting of me, I know that they are unaware of the prejudice in some of their remarks. My MIL, while she is a simply wonderful lady, seems to have trouble with President Obama and anything he says or does. I realize that this might mostly be because she is Republican but part of me believes that it is because he is not white.

She looks for any reason to talk down on him. I simply smile and nod, but at times I wonder if she realizes that her comments make me uncomfortable. Recently she had hip replacement surgery. While we were at the hospital, she made a comment about her Jamaican nurse being “black as the ace of spades”. This bothered me a bit, because why was it necessary to talk about the woman’s color that way? I love my MIL, but that comment threw me off. It had me looking at her differently. And his sister is simply weird. She seems to be very into her privilege as a white woman. Lots of entitlement issues. Loves to tell others what to do. My husband is the only one who seems a bit willing (if reluctant) to examine race relations.

]]> By: black yoda http://theangryblackwoman.com/2009/07/30/the-difference-between-what-you-say-and-what-you-are/comment-page-1/#comment-16151 black yoda Wed, 05 Aug 2009 16:03:17 +0000 http://theangryblackwoman.com/?p=946#comment-16151 Great footnote..lol It's depressing that you need it. Great footnote..lol
It’s depressing that you need it.

]]> By: Comm grad student http://theangryblackwoman.com/2009/07/30/the-difference-between-what-you-say-and-what-you-are/comment-page-1/#comment-15075 Comm grad student Fri, 31 Jul 2009 23:43:28 +0000 http://theangryblackwoman.com/?p=946#comment-15075 YES! Yes, this is such a fantastic point to make. I like to think in terms not of racists and antiracists, but of whether people are *practicing* antiracism. I may never be perfect but I get better with practice. YES! Yes, this is such a fantastic point to make.

I like to think in terms not of racists and antiracists, but of whether people are *practicing* antiracism. I may never be perfect but I get better with practice.

]]> By: Mel http://theangryblackwoman.com/2009/07/30/the-difference-between-what-you-say-and-what-you-are/comment-page-1/#comment-14932 Mel Thu, 30 Jul 2009 22:18:29 +0000 http://theangryblackwoman.com/?p=946#comment-14932 <i>A black person calls a white person a cracker: that’s not cool. But it does not have the same impact, or have the same level of wrongness, as a white person calling a black person a nigger. Still, doing both things is wrong, period.</i> This. I am getting so tired of "Well what about all the [minorities] who say mean things to [majority], huh?" A black person calls a white person a cracker: that’s not cool. But it does not have the same impact, or have the same level of wrongness, as a white person calling a black person a nigger. Still, doing both things is wrong, period.

This. I am getting so tired of “Well what about all the [minorities] who say mean things to [majority], huh?”

]]> By: Heather http://theangryblackwoman.com/2009/07/30/the-difference-between-what-you-say-and-what-you-are/comment-page-1/#comment-14919 Heather Thu, 30 Jul 2009 20:50:42 +0000 http://theangryblackwoman.com/?p=946#comment-14919 Thanks for this post! I think this is a necessary conversation that needs to be happening more often. Jay Smooth tackles the issue and points out that if our goal is really to keep people accountable for the way they act and the things they say, then we need to approach the particular action that took place instead of attacking the whole person. Jay Smooth video - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0Ti-gkJiXc&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2Freader%2Fview%2F&feature=player_embedded Thanks for this post! I think this is a necessary conversation that needs to be happening more often. Jay Smooth tackles the issue and points out that if our goal is really to keep people accountable for the way they act and the things they say, then we need to approach the particular action that took place instead of attacking the whole person.

Jay Smooth video –
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0Ti-gkJiXc&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2Freader%2Fview%2F&feature=player_embedded

]]> By: Momsomniac http://theangryblackwoman.com/2009/07/30/the-difference-between-what-you-say-and-what-you-are/comment-page-1/#comment-14890 Momsomniac Thu, 30 Jul 2009 18:09:32 +0000 http://theangryblackwoman.com/?p=946#comment-14890 ABW, This is a wonderful post - I am not Black, and though I have learned much here - that is not why I came or stayed - I came with an SF related search and stayed because it often seems that this blog is one of the few TRULY "Safe Places" I have found on the internet. Lots of places claim to be safe, but try pointing out that something stated is classist [or problematic in some other way] & you can find out real quick that it isn't. I suspect the feelings you express above are at least part of the reason WHY that is - this blog attracts (well, trolls, of course) but long term, people who approach discourse thoughtfully & people who know how to apologize for real (and who know how to handle folks who really NEED to apologize but won't). Wonderful posts by wonderful writers too. Thank you. ABW,

This is a wonderful post – I am not Black, and though I have learned much here – that is not why I came or stayed – I came with an SF related search and stayed because it often seems that this blog is one of the few TRULY “Safe Places” I have found on the internet. Lots of places claim to be safe, but try pointing out that something stated is classist [or problematic in some other way] & you can find out real quick that it isn’t.

I suspect the feelings you express above are at least part of the reason WHY that is – this blog attracts (well, trolls, of course) but long term, people who approach discourse thoughtfully & people who know how to apologize for real (and who know how to handle folks who really NEED to apologize but won’t). Wonderful posts by wonderful writers too.

Thank you.

]]> By: The Menstruator http://theangryblackwoman.com/2009/07/30/the-difference-between-what-you-say-and-what-you-are/comment-page-1/#comment-14869 The Menstruator Thu, 30 Jul 2009 15:41:14 +0000 http://theangryblackwoman.com/?p=946#comment-14869 Hey there. Nice piece you've written here. I like that you just say things. No wishy washy. It's appreciated. Hey there. Nice piece you’ve written here. I like that you just say things. No wishy washy. It’s appreciated.

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