This is something I talk to my husband about constantly. He is white. He doesn’t realize how it can hurt a young girl’s self-image to see the same White girls being touted as the most “beautiful” over and over. And if it is a Black woman, she is somebody like Halle or Beyonce.

I’m much lighter than both Halle and Beyonce, but I’m very much aware that they are considered the prototype for ideal black beauty in Western society.

I’ve told him that when we have children, if we have daughters, I will make it crystal clear to them that they are beautiful no matter what anyone says. My mother never quite did this but I will do it for my own children.

I’m sick of little black girls, whether light or dark, believing that they aren’t pretty because they don’t have flowing hair or blue eyes. I’m sick of seeing my own hair ruined from years of relaxers, because after all, biracial people like me aren’t supposed to have “ugly hair”. “Ugly” meaning African-textured hair. This is what somebody told me. I’m sick of the notion that a person is not beautiful if she isn’t white or doesn’t have so-called “good hair”. I believed this LIE all my life. This is also what contributes to division based on complexion between WOC.

Like you, I want to see more children of color loving themselves and respecting the unique beauty that they were blessed with. I want my future children to know that BOTH brown and blue eyes are gorgeous. I want them to know that blonde isn’t the most beautiful, that there is absolutely nothing wrong with dark hair or dark eyes or dark skin. There is nothing wrong with kinks or naps or curls. There is nothing wrong with broad noses or full lips. White can be beautiful, black can be beautiful, and so can every other type of individual in this world.