I was having a conversation a few weeks ago with a friend about some very deep subjects and in the midst of it I said something like, “We all have our Fail moments. People fuck up. Even I fail sometimes. It’s what you do when you fail that counts.” My friend said, “Can I put that on a shirt? ‘Even the ABW Fails sometimes!’” It’s totally true.
Latest example happened just a bit ago. At WisCon I had a chat with someone about a post from my personal blog that they found very troubling and problematic. And there have been other instances in the past, some of which I’m probably not aware of. I have no illusions of being perfect and know quite well that one can be an activist or be aware of issues and very intelligent yet still mess up.
I hope that what sets me apart from people who fail badly is that I am willing to admit when I’ve messed up, put the brakes on being defensive, listen to the people I’ve hurt or offended or angered, do what I can to make recompense, and strive not to fail in that way again. I personally only got to the point of being able to do this because I’ve been so involved in ABW stuff for the past few years. I feel that I can’t ask others to walk this path unless I’m willing to walk it myself. Plus, it’s the right thing to do, and I strive to do the right things.
It is rather frustrating when I have my fail moments because I go: WTF I should know better! But life is learning, everyone makes mistakes, and living a fail-free life is probably a lot like attaining enlightenment. It requires work, a lot of looking inside yourself, a lot of time, and possibly some Yoga training.