It bothers me that there’s this idea on the world that motherhood solves all problems. I know several women who have gone to great lengths to have children and the point was never to have the stereotypical man-woman parenting family (in fact two of these women had no desires at all to be with a man) but to have this creature of unconditional love at their beck and call.

Children shouldn’t be born with a job, not to save a relationship and certainly not to make a woman feel loved.

If this is an issue with Ms. Suleman then the events/cultural ideas that made her feel that being a mother of 14 children is the only thing that would bring her love is most alarming. Obviously people of this mentality are ill prepared to raise typical children, much less special needs children, and tend to raise them in such a selfish way that the children have far more challenges than poverty to overcome.

I think it’s easy to find some reason to be furious at the events that allowed her to be so irresponsible. But what does wishing harm and suffering to Suleman and her children accomplish?

Likewise, I’m not sure what would help the children the most, but I suspect an out pouring of money, media attention or venom won’t help at all.

Yep, I’m white, too.

But I’m not frustrated by this issue because of RACE or marital status. I’m frustrated that we live in a time when women are forced to choose between the moral lessons of society and the opportunity to bear children of their own. I’m frustrated that, while so many struggle to pay for their own medical care, others take advantage of a system intended to help those in NEED. I’m frustrated that a woman, regardless of nationality, creed or color, who has virtually no support for her existing SIX children (wasn’t that enough….really?!) would choose to go ahead and have another broods. I’m frustrated that a woman already overburdened by the monumental task of raising six children, some with the added challenges posed by autism, chose to implant not one, but all of her embryos.

Then again, we set her up, didn’t we, with all our medical prowess, playing God under the microscope. She does have a point, does she not, when she points out the babies were already embryos, and in this country some argue every embryo has a right to life. If she had NOT implanted them, where would that put her where “right to life” is concerned? She saw them as CHILDREN, not globules of molecular matter that might SOMEDAY become children. She saw this as her last ditch. She claims she didn’t think they’d all take, let alone split (despite her previous twins).

In this time of trouble she’s riding the system (with much publicity) and that tends to piss just about everyone off. With all the attention and talk shows that obsess about her how can we forget?

On the irresponsibility of Suleman, however, I am with you. It is clear that this was not well thought through.

Take Care,

Adam

That perspective made me think of things pretty differently. It’s easy to realise that people really do see these children as just burdening the system, not really realising that they can be a huge asset. My mom is one of 11 and I’m one of 5 so I understand it from that point of view. I also understand what you’re saying about overpopulation in terms of the US. I had a science teacher who had us watch a film about that, how India and China are having incredible amounts of children, whereas in Japan there was an elementary school with only one child in it and that would end up being a burden on the elderly as there wouldn’t be enough children growing up and entering the workforce to support them. I suppose the reason why it makes me cringe here in the US is because of the amount we consume- I wish I could find this article I read a while back but it said something like American children consuming as much as 30 children or some ridiculous number like that from another country. That really stuck with me.

That all being said though, it just still seems like really bad decision-making to to me to have all these children, even though I come from a pretty large family. I know my opinion should count for nothing in terms of Nadya’s decision-making, I really try to just apply to me, as it should do. It also has nothing to do with money, I would feel the same if I had all the money in the world. It could be that I am being a bit paranoid (I wouldn’t put it past myself lol) about the environmental situation but something still makes it hard for me to change my mind.

Having said that, I think it was selfish for Nadia Suleman to have had these children when she already had six. If she loved children so much, there’s a lot of children in foster homes who want and need to be part of a family. Why didn’t she seek them out?

Part of what I believe about being a feminist is making sensible and responsible choices about one’s body. This is neither sensible nor responsible and worse, plays right into the hands of the far-right wack jobs who are forever screaming about irresponsible welfare moms. I’m sorry, this is NOT choice. This is about her 15-plus minutes of fame at the expense of eight preemies who are probably going to have a difficult life under the best of circumstances. Also, why aren’t we talking about what this is going to do to her parents–already raising the first six? Grandparents are being forced to do the job that their irresponsible children will not do and I find that selfish.

Racism? Partly, but then again racists will look for any excuse–no matter how tenuous–to continue to be racists. Yes, Suleman is a woman of color, but she’s also the hate target du jour, which is Arabic. Still, that does not negate her irresponsibilty and her selfishness (the woman hired a PR person for goddess sake).