Comments on: Sexism, Chivalry, and POC communities

By: abw(anonymous black woman)

abw(anonymous black woman) — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 00:58:18 +0000

Jen, not to offend, the candidates may have a point. I have noticed to my annoyance that supporters of Clinton have not called out themselves on their own racism either not to excuse Obama. Also, even if they are not impressed with Obama, why the rush to endorse McCain instead of another candidate including Cynthia McKinney-who is both black and a woman. I got an idea why this isn’t so. I say all this because even though I admire the success and “symbolism” I have my reservations as to electing him because I have as AS MUCH reservations about his policies and demeanor as I do Hillary Clinton’s(I respect her torchbearing role) but this annoys me too. Anyway, I am not here to be an anti- or -pro Obama fan! This is just my take.

By: Paula

Paula — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 00:22:14 +0000

Of course, I should add to that last sentence, IF his policies otherwise reflect a conscientious understanding of issues that affect Asian Americans, which doesn’t seem likely right now.

By: Paula

Paula — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 22:11:35 +0000

Sorry for resuscitating this issue, but I guess this conversation is thought provoking. For me, Obama was exercising some male privilege here, but it would also be interesting to see whether he makes a regular habit of calling any of his following press contingent “buddy”, or “brother”, or “dear” when he’s trying to let them down gently. The “sweetie” was intended to brush her off as nicely but as quickly as possible, and I think the reporter was right in being more offended that he dismissed her question than his use of the word. I get ired when older white women (and sometimes white men) use the word for me, but I also realize that I’m a young-ish looking Asian American woman and that, in various ways, I must look young and easily set aside if need be. (I’ll speak up if I need to in most cases, of course, if, like the woman, I don’t get the respect I deserve.) Obama was right to apologize, but that effectively put the matter to bed for me and I see no reason to police this guy like he’s about call everyone the b-word if we’re not careful.

On a slightly more extreme case of foot-in-mouth, John McCain used the word “gooks” and has yet to apologize, despite the fact that many Vietnamese Americans support him because of his war hero status. I accept that he can be used to thinking that way, esp. as a former POW, and also because of his age. I dislike the fact that he hasn’t admitted that it was wrong, but I also don’t think that this incident is reason enough to vote against him (luckily, McCain provides other reasons) and that Asian Americans can still reasonably see his policies as being beneficial despite whatever leftover of bigotry resides in his heart.

By: Steve

Steve — Fri, 30 May 2008 20:02:23 +0000

I would say he has to realize that in his position what is exceptable for a person on the street calling the lady behind the counter sweetie or vice versa as I’ve been called sweetie by countless women over the years, is not acceptable for a Presidential Candidate. He just needs to be careful. Between his minister going crazy upsettin’ the white folk, and Clinton stirrin’ up women his favorable margin over McCain has fallen the past few months.

He just needs to realize everybody is watching him at all times. Then he’ll be fine. Should he be branded as sexist? I don’t think so. Should he be branded as careless? Probably. He must remember the running for President in the country is putting youself in the crosshairs of a scrutiny nobody should have to go through.

By: Mobius

Mobius — Sun, 25 May 2008 00:29:11 +0000

Wonderful post! As someone who has worked with families of colour for the past 15 years I find it heinous truth that MOC are so often viewed as aggressors, even in the most innocuous of situations, such as simply walking down the street.

Therefore, it is easy to see how ones family of origin would attempt to innoculate them via manners, etc., from being falsely perceived and accused.

I can also see the point made that to use “sweetie,” to dismiss a woman, as Obama did remains sexist and annoying.

Yet it is a forgiveable sin, especially tempered by his seemingly sincere and thoughtful apology.

Instances such as these will likely remain talking points in various conversations for years to come. There is no dichotomy in life and most issues worth discussing appear in varying shades of grey. Semantics are often loaded, even when we don’t intend our words to be and I would imagine there are very few amongst us who have consistently, without misstep, been able to carry ourselves with the integrity that we internally hold to. Racism and sexism are simply too ingrained in this society and those of us who deem to live completely without…well…we do falter at times in our language, even without intent.

I’m a white woman, who will be voting for Obama for President. Hillary was never a viable option for me. I’ve never been comfortable with her handling of CumStainGate. I don’t feel that I need to endorse or even like her, simply because she is a woman, any more than I would endorse Obama simply because he is a black man. We are all free (or at least should be) to choose a candidate based on their record, their stances on issues for which we are personally concerned, etc. etc. etc.

That said though, as a woman, a mother and a feminist…if both candidates had been almost equal in integrity (they haven’t) and issue alignment, I would vote for Obama. For I do believe that whether those of us with paler skin loathe it or not, white entitlement exists. Putting a good man in the White House, a man that also happens to be black, is, in my opinion, going to be a watershed event for the cultural construct of this age. I have nothing but disgust for those who claim feminism and yet rant that they shall vote McCain if Clinton doesn’t run. I abhor Clinton for evoking sexism in her own case, when it is painfully clear that ALL of those oppressed which she so easily references are women of colour.

She doesn’t stand for THEM.

Therefore she doesn’t stand for US.

By: Tom Head

Tom Head — Sat, 24 May 2008 05:55:56 +0000

Good point, Foxessa. But then McCain’s a white guy, so…

By: Dianne

Dianne — Fri, 23 May 2008 22:31:03 +0000

Hi, I’m late to the party, but…I thought that the “sweetie” comment was mildly obnoxious, particularly given that the context was Obama avoiding a reporter’s question. But, good lord, he apologized. He called her to apologize personally and did so in a way that suggests that he is thinking about what he did and sincerely wants to avoid accidently insulting anyone. In other words, it seems to me that he’s doing all the right things. I didn’t like the remark in particular, but I like his response to the criticism and “responds reasonably when criticized” is an excellent characteristic for a president to have. (And neither McCain nor Clinton have it.)

By: A.

A. — Fri, 23 May 2008 21:22:56 +0000

Hara, are you absolutely POSITIVE that Hillary Clinton will do anything for women as well? She’s proven time and time again that she’s not always in the best interest of Americans in general.

By: vivelafat

vivelafat — Fri, 23 May 2008 20:17:09 +0000

I am confused. I was directed to your site some months ago when I made a comment on a blog that some perceived as racist. I had every reason to make the remark, and truely meant no harm by it, and yet I was told it didn’t matter what I “meant”. I explained my reasoning behind it, and that did not matter either. So in an effort to gain knowledge that I was clearly lacking, I began to frequent this, and other sites, about race.
From what I have learned in my very little time sitting and listening is that it doesn’t matter what the intent was, if it was offensive to someone, I should take that into account.
If Obama said something that was perceived as sexist to some women, wouldn’t that make his remarks sexist, the intent behind them is irrelevent? I am just currious, if perhaps I am not understanding the situation correctly.

By: Foxessa

Foxessa — Fri, 23 May 2008 17:18:23 +0000

McCain called his wife as a c*nt, in one of his common temper explosions , in the presence of his staff, the public and journalists.

There was no consequent feminist outrage or discussion, or so it seemed.

Love, C.