And taking the general trend, anytime, anyone steps out of their place in the hierarchy- they get attacked. Women are attacked if they step higher than men, men are attacked if they let women lead, etc. The bullshit stays ingrained because the oppressor and the oppressed are both punished if they try to step away from the system.

And the “argument” of “we didn’t know better”? Excuse me, if you live in any major urban area (and a good portion of non-urban ones too), you meet people of color everyday, and women make up 51% of the population- taking media stereotypes over all the real people around you?

Under that logic, watching Silence of the Lambs should turn you into a cannibal.

Yes. That is true. There have been studies done on the perceptions of male and female bosses by their employees, and women who are in charge are expected to be sympathetic and friendly at far greater rates than their male counterparts, and are responded to negatively when they don’t conform. Studies of pedagogy find similarly differing reactions to male and female teachers.

When the attacks are expressed in terms of the maleness of the target, and the inherent inferiority thereof, that is not an unreasonable characterization.

Except that’s not how it’s generally used. And given that masculinity as a construct is often predicated on the inherent inferiority of the feminine, one would think it could afford to take a few hits.

I don’t see the point of wanting to be called an “asshole” rather than a “bitch,” leaving the issue of the ill-manners that prompted the label unaddressed.

Because one is a gender-specific insult and the other isn’t. Unless part of the insult you wish to level is that the woman isn’t conforming to an acceptable model of femininity, there’s no reason to use “bitch.” Also, “bitch” has taken on overtones of “a woman who is sexually exploited by a more powerful man or a man who is the receptive partner in anal sex who is being sexually exploited by a more powerful man,” either of which adds a pretty disgusting attitude toward women in general and sexuality in particular to the mix.

Veronica – To me, everyone who acts like an asshole, is called an asshole, if it’s any consolation. That word has a nice ring to it. :-)

I have yet to see a man do either a) or b) from the previous post. I have heard people say “the (male) boss is busting my balls,” though it seems to mean something a little different. I’m certainly not going to claim that the use of epithets is a science that follows rules of logic or consistency.

The main point however, is that the author seems to be saying that what makes a man get called a good leader is what makes a woman get called a “bitch.” In my experience, what makes a woman a “bitch” is what makes a man an “asshole.” I don’t see the point of wanting to be called an “asshole” rather than a “bitch,” leaving the issue of the ill-manners that prompted the label unaddressed.

I might consider calling a woman who is strong and rude a ball-buster, though in my estimation there are limited scenarios where that name applies. In any case I’d have an equally unpleasant name for a man who behaved similarly.

In my (limited) experience in this, a ball-buster is someone who exhibits disrespect for masculinity by a) disparaging masculinity in general, b) by disparaging a particular male as a failure at masculinity, or c) takes delight in using a position of authority to run roughshod over those in inferior positions. I have not found these qualities to be particularly admired in men, either. We call men like this “assholes.”

It seems to be the proposition of this argument that a woman who is strong and (anything) is automatically a ball-buster. I’d like to know where this comes from. I’m not particularly tuned in to the media scene, so I’m probably behind the curve here, in terms of when and where this name is getting flung around.

On a lighter note: your post made me think of this awesome painting by Ursula Vernon, called The Old Battleaxe (also here on deviantART). Its description reads:

Ruby Elfgutter was a famous orcish beauty in her youth, and one of the great heroes of the Battle of Brazenskull, where she killed many of the enemy and bit a knight’s hand off, gauntlet and all. She eventually retired and became the beloved Grandma Ruby to generations of orc children. She always has room on the fridge for a work of crayon art, will listen for hours to childish babble, and bakes a mean tadpole crunch cookie.

But when bad stuff goes down and you get those bastard elves sniffing around the borders, Grandma Ruby’ll pull the battleaxe down off the wall, plant herself in the mouth of the cave, and heaven help anybody who tries to get to HER grandkids…

That’s the kind of battleaxe I want to be when I grow up!