So every now and then we get some semi-hard core trolls around here who decide to make annoying and stupid posts on every post they come across starting on the front page and going backwards. Or sometimes they start out in one particular conversation and radiate out as we get wind that they’re really nothing more that bored assholes with nothing better to do. Usually I can shut these people down by banning them, but every now and then one gets it in their heads that the conversation isn’t over, that they have more to say and, damnit, we WILL listen!

The last time this happened I banned a guy, watched him hit the moderation wall 4 times, then say something like “Huh, I guess you really can ban me. Oh well, I’ll try again on Monday.” to which I thought “Oh no you fucking won’t.” That particular douchebag was not only posting from work, but used his work address in the email field. So I called up his company, explained to them what was going on, and asked if they could ban him from further trolling while he was at work, at least.

That’s right, I called up someone’s job and emailed their HR office comments from ABW.

Some might say that I went a bit too far. After all, I could have endangered that man’s job and he might have gotten really pissed at me. Well, you know what, I am fucking tired of you entitled assholes that think it’s your goddamned right to abuse me and my guests without any thought that we might be real people with real feelings in a real world. So I brought the Internet to YOUR house and you’d better believe I’ll do it again. Because I am tired of this shit.

If you want to argue and disagree with me, fine. But if you take it to the next level and I decide to ban you, go the fuck away. I mean it. I’m not joking and that really isn’t the time to test me by making up a new name or using a different email or finding a way to mask or change your IP. And yes, Michael, I’m talking about you now. I banned you. I emailed to say that I banned you. You told me that this was fine with you and you were going away. Now I still see your ass all over my blog.

And just like that other asshole, you don’t have the sense that God gave jellyfish. I know your full name, Michael. I apparently also know your wife’s name. A simple Google search also tells me that you might have a daughter. I may even know where you work down there in Texas. Comcast now knows about your actions on this blog. We’ll see if they have anything to say about that. And if you continue to post your hateful screeds here, I will take the information I found on Google and find who I can possibly talk to that will make you leave us alone.

I will not let trollish asshole douchebags run my blog into the ground. I will not let you 1940 throwbacks chase me off the Internet. If it means getting personal with you, I will get personal. That goes for anyone.

I’ll say this again: I have no problem with disagreement and debate. Civil discourse, even between people who don’t see eye to eye, is always welcome. But if I choose to ban you, you need to just get over it and go away. I don’t want to spend my day on the phone with various HR departments determining whether you are, in fact, the person who has been on my blog. But I will if your abuse rises to the level of harassment.

Michael, you are harassing us. Take your toys. Go home.

ETA: Pursuant to an email from Michael, I’d just like to clarify something.  At no point did I ever threaten to release Michael’s name or the names of his family members on this blog or anywhere publicly.  Michael seems to think I was making a veiled threat of doing so.  I thought I was pretty clear concerning the nature of who I might reveal any information to, i.e. his ISP or his HR department.  Not only would I not put his last name, workplace, or kid’s name up in a public place, I would certainly never do so here.  I’m just not an asshole like that.