Dear Black People: Stop Embarrassing Me
Though this website is mostly a people of color positive zone, every now and then I feel the need to vent a bit about my own people. It generally happens when I want black people to stop freaking embarrassing me!
First up, hip hop artist Plies. Yes, his name is Plies. It’s embarrassing enough to have a grown-ass man running around calling himself Plies, but he supposedly waxed poetical with Vibe magazine on why he chose such a moniker:
Vibe: “Plies is an interesting name for a rapper, how did you get that nickname?”
Plies: “Plies is a tool, You can use it to put the squeeze on things, like I’m doing to these niggas in the rap game. I got the squeeze on them real tight, they feeling the pressure, or you can use it to pull things out. I pull out all the bullshit and keep the real you feel me?
It also a word you can use in terms of things goin’ on in yo life, ya dig. You may hear something I say and say that it plies to me.”
Vibe: “I’ve heard of a tool called a Pliers and the term applies.”
Plies: “You know what I’m trying to say my nigga, just buy my album, I’m from the South my nigga, we don’t learn no grammer. My Album out August 7, 2007, cop three copies each, it’s Christmas in July fo’ real, ya dig?
Now, I say he ‘supposedly’ said this to Vibe because there is some doubt that this snippet is from a real interview. I’ve only been able to find it on message boards and blogs with no attribution link. It was supposedly on Vibe.com but isn’t there now. I’ve seen some other recent interviews with this ‘Plies’ person, so I don’t have a lot of trouble seeing this as real. But, it may not be.
If it is: PLIES, stop FUCKING embarrassing me! That is some straight ignant shit, yo! Plies is a tool, You can use it to put the squeeze on things — gah!
If it’s fake, I suspect a white conspiracy ;)
This second item, however, is not a product of the white conspiracy.
Did you know that The View now has two black co-hosts? They brought in Whoopi to replace Rosie, not Star Jones. They brought in Sherri Shepherd to replace Star. (No, I don’t know who Sherri Shepherd is, either.) Apparently, Sherri is a Christian. She says that she does not “believe in evolution, period.” As a follow up, Whoopi asked her if she believed the world was flat. Her answer? “I don’t know.”
*tires squeeling, cars crashing*
You don’t know?
“I’ve never thought about it,” she went on to say. “‘Is the world flat?’ has never been an important thing to me.”
See, this is the reason people make fun of Christians. This is the exact reason.
Sherri Shepherd, stop embarrassing me! I mean, come on. Is the world flat? is not a hard question to answer. And if you answer “I don’t know,” that says to me you don’t want to admit, on national television, that you really, deep down, think that it is. And if that is true, then you need to sail off the edge of it. Right now.
The whole conversation is here, if you can stomach it:
Check out the grin on Joy Behar’s face. She’s happy to have two black women going at it instead of one black woman going at her.
Maybe we should write a letter to these folks ala “Dear Black People” or stage an intervention. Because, really, there is no need for this foolishness.