Someone needs to take Tucker Carlson’s bowtie away. Or shove it in his mouth. Or choke him with it. Something.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0q1t6W8-lM]

CARLSON: So Barack Obama is a member of a church called Trinity United Church of Christ. It’s a predominantly black church in Chicago, that espouses something called the “Black Value System,” [PDF] which includes calls for congregants to be “soldiers for black freedom” and a, quote, “disavowal of the pursuit of middleclassness.” Now, it would seem to me, Tom, not to make a broad sweeping statement here, but a racially exclusive theology, a theology that ministers to one group of people, based on race, kind of contradicts the basic tenets of Christianity, and is worth talking about. Wouldn’t you say?

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Johnnie Cochran: This is Chewbacca.

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I’m sorry, Tucker… but what? Excuse me? Say again?

CARLSON: Soldiers for black freedom? How about — what about soldiers for freedom for everybody. What does that mean?

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Johnnie Cochran: Why would a Wookiee, an eight-foot tall Wookiee, want to live on Endor, with a bunch of two-foot tall Ewoks? That does not make sense! But more important, you have to ask yourself: What does this have to do with Barack Obama? Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with Barack Obama! It does not make sense!

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What. The. Fuck.

Lindsay at This Modern World helpfully points out that the Trinity United Church of Christ describes itself as “Unashamedly black and Unapologetically Christian” and that its first ethical precept states:

Commitment of God “The God of our weary years” will give us the strength to give up prayerful passivism and become Black Christian Activist, soldiers for Black freedom and the dignity of all humankind.

This information isn’t secret, yanno. I don’t have a special black church access code to find these things. It’s on their damn website. Is it really too much to ask that Tucker do something even remotely journalistic and responsible like research?

I don’t even know why I typed that sentence. Responsibility is not this Partisan Hack’s strong suit. Hell, dressing like an adult in the 21st century isn’t his strong suit.

But I still.. I just can’t.. I… Johnnie?

Johnnie Cochran: Lookit the monkey! Lookit the silly monkey!

*all heads explode*

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This your first time on my blog? Want to yell at me about my horrible racism? Do it over on the Open Thread. Keep comments here about the post topic.Tags: Barack Obama, Tucker Carlson, Trinity United Church of Christ, Black Churches, Christianity, MSNBC Sucks