Comments on: Black Hair Etiquette Guide http://theangryblackwoman.com/2006/09/03/black-hair-etiquette-guide/ Race, Politics, Gender, Sexuality, Anger Tue, 31 Jan 2012 00:33:27 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3 By: jess http://theangryblackwoman.com/2006/09/03/black-hair-etiquette-guide/comment-page-1/#comment-11150 jess Mon, 27 Apr 2009 04:48:20 +0000 http://theangryblackwoman.wordpress.com/2006/09/03/black-hair-etiquette-guide/#comment-11150 I am white. My mother is white, my father is white. I am not mixed in any way (although many people assume I am). However, I have "black hair" (aka curly hair). My hair naturally curls into tight coils. People, black and white, ask me all the time if they can touch my hair, pull my curls, if my curls are natural, if my hair has always been this curly, if I wear weave, etc. Often times people pull on my curls and watch them spring back into place without asking. People don't touch your hair, pull your hair, ask about your hair because you're black, they ask/pull/touch because it's curly. I have fair skin, blonde hair, blue eyes and people, strangers and acquaintances, do the exact same thing to me. I am white. My mother is white, my father is white. I am not mixed in any way (although many people assume I am). However, I have “black hair” (aka curly hair). My hair naturally curls into tight coils. People, black and white, ask me all the time if they can touch my hair, pull my curls, if my curls are natural, if my hair has always been this curly, if I wear weave, etc. Often times people pull on my curls and watch them spring back into place without asking. People don’t touch your hair, pull your hair, ask about your hair because you’re black, they ask/pull/touch because it’s curly. I have fair skin, blonde hair, blue eyes and people, strangers and acquaintances, do the exact same thing to me.

]]> By: Noah http://theangryblackwoman.com/2006/09/03/black-hair-etiquette-guide/comment-page-1/#comment-430 Noah Mon, 14 Apr 2008 15:55:13 +0000 http://theangryblackwoman.wordpress.com/2006/09/03/black-hair-etiquette-guide/#comment-430 love your BLOG. we're Germany's first Black media-watchdog, and just recently designed shirts with "touch your own hair" and "don't be so oversensitive" and the likes in German. I personally like the kids' version of the shirts. http://334365.spreadshirt.net/en/EU/Shop I wish everyone over here would be fluent enough w English to understand everything you write! keep it up & cheers from overseas, Noah love your BLOG.

we’re Germany’s first Black media-watchdog, and just recently designed shirts with “touch your own hair” and “don’t be so oversensitive” and the likes in German. I personally like the kids’ version of the shirts.

http://334365.spreadshirt.net/en/EU/Shop

I wish everyone over here would be fluent enough w English to understand everything you write!

keep it up & cheers from overseas,

Noah

]]> By: MEMees http://theangryblackwoman.com/2006/09/03/black-hair-etiquette-guide/comment-page-1/#comment-431 MEMees Fri, 11 Apr 2008 20:04:44 +0000 http://theangryblackwoman.wordpress.com/2006/09/03/black-hair-etiquette-guide/#comment-431 Its seems to me this way: Black women feel self contious because they KNOW the Beauty standard in the USA doesnt include them. ( well, not really). Therefore, when a white person tries to touch thier hair, suspicioh arises. Kinda like " waht do they say about me behind my back" or "what , what do you want!?". It comes off as defensiveness sometimes. Probably why we, never get accused of touching white people hair nearly as much as they get accused of touching ours. It really sucks and can be a burden when you analyze it or even think about it too hard/much. Its seems to me this way:
Black women feel self contious because they KNOW the Beauty standard in the USA doesnt include them. ( well, not really). Therefore, when a white person tries to touch thier hair, suspicioh arises. Kinda like ” waht do they say about me behind my back” or “what , what do you want!?”. It comes off as defensiveness sometimes.
Probably why we, never get accused of touching white people hair nearly as much as they get accused of touching ours.
It really sucks and can be a burden when you analyze it or even think about it too hard/much.

]]> By: Jillian http://theangryblackwoman.com/2006/09/03/black-hair-etiquette-guide/comment-page-1/#comment-435 Jillian Thu, 13 Sep 2007 15:47:05 +0000 http://theangryblackwoman.wordpress.com/2006/09/03/black-hair-etiquette-guide/#comment-435 Black females who ask other black females if their long hair is real, is just plain JEALOUS! I get that question constantly. They wish they had long, NATURAL (no weave or extension) hair like us. Black females who ask other black females if their long hair is real, is just plain JEALOUS! I get that question constantly. They wish they had long, NATURAL (no weave or extension) hair like us.

]]> By: "No my Grandparents were not your Grandparents' slave owners; mine were Irish" http://theangryblackwoman.com/2006/09/03/black-hair-etiquette-guide/comment-page-1/#comment-436 "No my Grandparents were not your Grandparents' slave owners; mine were Irish" Mon, 03 Sep 2007 03:23:12 +0000 http://theangryblackwoman.wordpress.com/2006/09/03/black-hair-etiquette-guide/#comment-436 In China, being white, I can dye my hair any colour and it looks natural. A chinese person asked me if I can dye my eyes. My eyes do change to green in summer and some "moon faces" (chinese people; they call me "cat eyes") have stared and stared at them, beleving non-black eyed peeps are devils. Black People out there: I envy you guys; in China they're not terrified of you. In China, being white, I can dye my hair any colour and it looks natural. A chinese person asked me if I can dye my eyes. My eyes do change to green in summer and some “moon faces” (chinese people; they call me “cat eyes”) have stared and stared at them, beleving non-black eyed peeps are devils.

Black People out there: I envy you guys; in China they’re not terrified of you.

]]> By: Marsena http://theangryblackwoman.com/2006/09/03/black-hair-etiquette-guide/comment-page-1/#comment-438 Marsena Tue, 14 Aug 2007 13:16:58 +0000 http://theangryblackwoman.wordpress.com/2006/09/03/black-hair-etiquette-guide/#comment-438 This topic is on the money! Of course, I'm not the least bit surprised that Barbara Walters engages in such ignorant, petting-zoo behavior. She needs to be in the zoo! It was a blessing from heaven to Star Jones for her to be fired from that show. A queen like Star deserves a better court! As a black woman, the following people are the only ones allowed to touch my hair: My mom and extended family (as long as you're not hunting for scalp flakes. That's my job, thank you!) My darling husband of 10 years. Hey, since he's so gracious in giving me the money to pay for it to get done when we have the money, I would certainly want him to be able to run his fingers through it! (a word to my sisters: if your husband can never run his fingers through your hair because "you just got it done", then maybe it's overdone! Better to let his fingers lovingly caress YOUR hair than someone else's! Word to husbands: Just be gentle when you do!) My best friends - I'm talking about the close ones, the friends I can lay my head in their lap and have serious girl talk with. Our son (he'll be 4 months old this Saturday) - when he's old enough to understand the following, "You can stroke Mommy's hair, but don't pull!" The hairdresser (but if you jack up this sister's hair, you forfeit your scalp!) All others need to admire from afar. I'm not some exotic animal to pet and stroke. And any hair I wear on my head IS mine (whether home-grown or paid for), period! This topic is on the money! Of course, I’m not the least bit surprised that Barbara Walters engages in such ignorant, petting-zoo behavior. She needs to be in the zoo! It was a blessing from heaven to Star Jones for her to be fired from that show. A queen like Star deserves a better court!

As a black woman, the following people are the only ones allowed to touch my hair:

My mom and extended family (as long as you’re not hunting for scalp flakes. That’s my job, thank you!)

My darling husband of 10 years. Hey, since he’s so gracious in giving me the money to pay for it to get done when we have the money, I would certainly want him to be able to run his fingers through it! (a word to my sisters: if your husband can never run his fingers through your hair because “you just got it done”, then maybe it’s overdone! Better to let his fingers lovingly caress YOUR hair than someone else’s! Word to husbands: Just be gentle when you do!)

My best friends – I’m talking about the close ones, the friends I can lay my head in their lap and have serious girl talk with.

Our son (he’ll be 4 months old this Saturday) – when he’s old enough to understand the following, “You can stroke Mommy’s hair, but don’t pull!”

The hairdresser (but if you jack up this sister’s hair, you forfeit your scalp!)

All others need to admire from afar. I’m not some exotic animal to pet and stroke. And any hair I wear on my head IS mine (whether home-grown or paid for), period!

]]> By: the angry black woman http://theangryblackwoman.com/2006/09/03/black-hair-etiquette-guide/comment-page-1/#comment-437 the angry black woman Wed, 18 Jul 2007 21:47:21 +0000 http://theangryblackwoman.wordpress.com/2006/09/03/black-hair-etiquette-guide/#comment-437 ... and your point is? … and your point is?

]]> By: The other side http://theangryblackwoman.com/2006/09/03/black-hair-etiquette-guide/comment-page-1/#comment-439 The other side Wed, 18 Jul 2007 13:27:22 +0000 http://theangryblackwoman.wordpress.com/2006/09/03/black-hair-etiquette-guide/#comment-439 I am white and I work with a black woman who constantly yanks my hair as she walks by, and also pokes me and slaps me in the back. She slapped my back once while I was eating. It makes me jump because she comes up from behind me and whatever I'm typing gets screwed up. I asked her to stop and she stopped pulling my hair but still fluffs it up as she passes me. Somebody else here told me to pull hers but I won't stoop to that level. I am white and I work with a black woman who constantly yanks my hair as she walks by, and also pokes me and slaps me in the back. She slapped my back once while I was eating.

It makes me jump because she comes up from behind me and whatever I’m typing gets screwed up.

I asked her to stop and she stopped pulling my hair but still fluffs it up as she passes me. Somebody else here told me to pull hers but I won’t stoop to that level.

]]> By: karmakaze http://theangryblackwoman.com/2006/09/03/black-hair-etiquette-guide/comment-page-1/#comment-442 karmakaze Sun, 15 Jul 2007 02:43:04 +0000 http://theangryblackwoman.wordpress.com/2006/09/03/black-hair-etiquette-guide/#comment-442 "In no reality would she walk up to a white woman, grab her hair and ask “Is this real?” with any expectation of a polite response. It simply would not occur to her to even attempt that behavior..." Oh, but they do. (I don't have a good picture, but here's a not-so-good picture: http://www.flickr.com/photos/karmakaze/4234166/) I get... Is that your real hair (would I pay money for fake hair that's this tattered); How long did it take you to grow it out (I wasn't counting); Can I braid it/play with it(Not unless I know you really well); Why don't you cut it off and give it to charity (because it's part of me); Is that your natural color (more or less). I learned to braid my own hair young because it gave me an excuse to tell people not to touch it. I think some of the touchy-feely is the idea that anything about a woman's appearance is fair game. “In no reality would she walk up to a white woman, grab her hair and ask “Is this real?” with any expectation of a polite response. It simply would not occur to her to even attempt that behavior…”

Oh, but they do. (I don’t have a good picture, but here’s a not-so-good picture: http://www.flickr.com/photos/karmakaze/4234166/) I get… Is that your real hair (would I pay money for fake hair that’s this tattered); How long did it take you to grow it out (I wasn’t counting); Can I braid it/play with it(Not unless I know you really well); Why don’t you cut it off and give it to charity (because it’s part of me); Is that your natural color (more or less).

I learned to braid my own hair young because it gave me an excuse to tell people not to touch it. I think some of the touchy-feely is the idea that anything about a woman’s appearance is fair game.

]]> By: Erika http://theangryblackwoman.com/2006/09/03/black-hair-etiquette-guide/comment-page-1/#comment-440 Erika Sat, 14 Jul 2007 03:14:16 +0000 http://theangryblackwoman.wordpress.com/2006/09/03/black-hair-etiquette-guide/#comment-440 Why is it hard for some people to accept another person's cultural norms? Would you challenge a Chinese person on why their culture behaves a certain way or just accept it? I'm hoping you will lean toward the acceptance part since it's none of your business anyway. Second note: Just because black Americans have been in America for a long time doesn't mean they don't have the right to their own culture nor does it mean that their culture and hair requests should be ignored. If you've never walked in another person's shoes then how can you say how they should feel? My point exactly. You can't. Just think for one second how it would be for an African-American working in a white majority work place. Wouldn't you get tired of people asking your entire life, "Can I touch your hair?" Why is it hard for some people to accept another person’s cultural norms? Would you challenge a Chinese person on why their culture behaves a certain way or just accept it? I’m hoping you will lean toward the acceptance part since it’s none of your business anyway.

Second note: Just because black Americans have been in America for a long time doesn’t mean they don’t have the right to their own culture nor does it mean that their culture and hair requests should be ignored. If you’ve never walked in another person’s shoes then how can you say how they should feel? My point exactly. You can’t.

Just think for one second how it would be for an African-American working in a white majority work place. Wouldn’t you get tired of people asking your entire life, “Can I touch your hair?”

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